Blog

I am now being forced to post a blog to say that nobody ever blogs here anymore. And yes that does mean you Rayne. We definately need more "Cool people" To post on this site or at least be more diligent with writing here. Because i'm getting tired of going onto Loserville and seeing nothing. And there better be more posts here soon unless you want me to start writing scripts for dodgy sitcoms, and nobody wants that, least of all me. Though it might be quite amusing... No, no it wouldn't.

Declan and Rayne say helllo :)

helllllllllllllllo:)

if you read the previous smiley backwards it gives you a shocked face :O
lololololol
so what did you all get up to last weeeekend??? hooooning the place up im guessing? no no no, off course not, we are all to prim and proper aren't we all? oui oui oui. (Declan- Yeah...totally...) wellll sparks fire, myself and wollllf babe went out on friday night for a lovely girls night :D hahahahah. Declan didnt come. now, i know what your all thinking, "why would this declan charicter be coming if he is a male, to a so called 'girls night'" wellllllll here is the lovely story of how declan became equal to both the male and famale gender.




*sitting in the bus on the way to Art galllery in canberra.*
Wolf- bolah blah blah
*talking about anime* *rayne looks at declan*
Rayne- Do asians have genders?
:O :O :O
Wolf- WHAT!?!?!?!
Rayne- I MEANT ANIME'S!I MEANT ANIME'S!I MEANT ANIME'S!I MEANT ANIME'S!I MEANT ANIME'S! OHHH SHIT!
wolf- yes rayne asians have genders.
Declan- shall i prove it?


.....so since then it has been decided that declan is without a gender. poor bloke\lass. anyhow....I AM NOT RACIST! IT WAS A MISTAKE! ASIANS AND ANIMES, YOU GET THE MISTAKE RIGHT?
....oh lordy....
SO yes friday night we went to hillarys and had fun flirting with the waiter and staring at his damn fine arse....ahuh....mhhmmmmm....DAMN getting distracted again....


il send you the rest of the story later. hitler ( MRS\MR booth wants me off >:|)

Rayne xoxoxoxoxoxo

and Declan...the one with no apparent gender.

tireddd

Bex <3 : says:
heyyyy
ash. says:
hey miss
how r u?
Bex <3 : says:
tired.
very very tired.
yourself?
ash. says:
awake
lol
making a model
for uni
Bex <3 : says:
haha i had the worst nights sleep last night. i dont even think it qualiflys as sleep..haha.
what kinda model?
??
..
ash. says:
perspex
hard to explain
Bex <3 : says:
seems it...
Bex <3 says:
awyeah
wanna hear something sorta amusing?
ash. says:
yup
Bex <3 : says:
alrrright=]
i was heaps dehydrated yesterday since i had been at the beach sunbathing for like 7 or so hours.
and the whole night. every time i shut my eyes.
the image of a pump bottle would appear.
hahaha
ash. says:
haha LOL
Bex <3 : says:
sooo y
*** ashhh
ash. says:
how did 'ash' turn into 'sooooo y'?
Bex <3 says:
i told you i was tired.
ash.:
wow..
Bex <3:
zzzzzz....


tooo freaking tired!...i love josh...
xoxox

crampppppppp -_-

i have cramp.its like my insides are being punched again and again and i have these hands inside me trying to punch their way out..ouch.ouch.ouch.ouch. panadol, my dear people does not work as fast as it would claim to do so on its wrapper or on its television ads, or for that matter, at all. anyhow. holidays( also a name of a smoking chain thingy that we sell at work...) anyhow yeah holidays! wooooow! party!...er no.....not much to do about nothing. there is nothing to do in this godforsaken country, never mind this region. espbloodyspeacial this fucking part of Perth. North of the river...what do people actually do north of the river some may ask? nothing. nil. nilch. nuppp. not one thing. i have friends who have lives. they live SOUTH of the river. so what does that mean?shall we all pack up our iglu's and move south? where the south wind blows?...-_-wind sucks....

i havent done much these holidays. basicly. worked. saw tttsnb a few times more than usual. saw wolf. worked. went to the beach. slept. and watch every single skins episode made. so basicly, narrowing it all down. the three main things done in my holidays as others study for exams and go down south (where all the fun is...well maybe not with the people she went with....ONLY 10 DAYS TILL THE END OF THE HOLLIDAY GIRLS!) i have been eating,sleeping and watching skins. again. and again....and again.

oh i went to the royal show with tttsnb, leigh, jayne, jethro aand jack...it was fun. leigh spend a ridiculous amount of money winning a masssive dog that we sat on, on the way home. no one except himself and i would go on the rides -_- anyhow, tttsnb wanted ribs. i wouldnt let him have any cause they looked messy. hahah he also won me a soft chicken! :) i loved it :) its epic...cause...its a chicken! well...not a real one, but my daddy wont let us keep chickens. only bitches. like my mother. or my sister..or myself....anyhow....hahah we walked around for ages just looking at stuff and eating all the freee samples and buying show bags and....teaching me how to play bullshit at lunch:P anyhow it was really fun:)

i think iv even started talking in a monotone.
"yes mother"
"no mother i dont think it is lazy to lie in bed till 2 in the afternoon"
"no i dont want to get up and walk the dog"
"yes this tv show does have alot of swearing in it, no i will not turn it off"
" how could i have made that mess when you just said iv been in bed all day? why must you contradict yourself mother?"
" can you make me a sandwich?"
"thanks. can you toast it?"
"what do you mean why dont i get up and help? last time i tried i nearly 'accidently' stabbed you"
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^those are prime examples of the kind of communication i am having nowadays.

oh i went driving with jim and josh. they dropped me off at like...idk 11? and it took me the whole of the next day to recover from all the energy i had used. totally get how people become lazy fat ugly slobs now. im already fat and ugly, so all i need to do is work on my lazyinesssss.which isnt going to be helped by my job interview tomorrow -_- yes. i have a job already. but when you still owe your parents $230, you have birthdays coming up, and chirstmas, when lincraft calls you up offering you an interview, you accept.

anyhow.
hope you all are well.
and studying and not becoming what i am.
Rayne
xxx

Shadow soul demons.

So anyway Rayne and I were thinking about demons and trying to come up with new ones, and I remembered reading some where that if you trade away your soul to the devil you are shadowless, I.E. you don't cast a shadow. So I thought, what happens to those shadow souls? Easy, they return from hell to become disembodied shadow soul demons! Incidently, the legend up above is also the reason that it's considered impolite to stand on someones shadow as it is thought to contain the very esscence of their soul.

Anyway, this is what I interperate them as looking like;

This is a blog

Well I never did claim to have any origionality... So who wants to hear about my mundane life?
I'm assuming that there is a raise of hands out there and i'm also assuming that even though you know that this is probably going to be mundane you're going to continue reading it any way. Blogs are funny like that, even when you know that it is only composed of the garbled thoughts of ones mind and will have no importance whatsoever you keep reading it anyway. Only realising at the end that it was a load of rubbish when you had fair warning at the start.
So... anyway, the 'family' is watching get away or Better homes and gardens, I got told off for calling the show "Better Homes than ours". My mother also told me off for singing that guys song 'I walk with God'. I replaced the lyrics though so it was "I walk with dog cause i'm dislexic". Parents... I shall never understand them. School holidays now! Ahh that's one advantage of private schooling. Keep in mind that there is only one of them. I have a feeling that Sparks is going to give me one of those blank looks that she is oh so good at producing when I have voiced what is going on in that messed up place called my mind. Technically though I haven't voiced this out loud, I have typed it. I'm pretty sure Rayne likes my imagination, incidently here's a new quote for you Rayne;

"Reality, the poor mans imagination"

From yours truely, hope you like. Maybe I should be concerned though as Rayne thinks that my idea of shadow soul demons is a good concept.
And now I shall leave you all with some words of wisdom
"When gingerbread man hell is full, the gingerbread zombies shall wander the earth seeking revenge".





Now please comment, cause i'm feeling a tad lonely :)

tsk tsk

its RAYNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNE XD
im in ILT atm and completed my WMM tast already so im rather bored.,....tttsnb isnt at school today ***ahhhhem, lazy bugger*** so yeah.....im reallly extreemly bored.
im dragging tttsnb to the royal show XD though cobb, bilby and wolf have ALL bailed. thanks guyyyys :P
anyhow.
i love you all.
wait. bella is in this class and keeps on sending me these evil looks and sneering at me. wellll, SHUT UP SHINNNNY FOREHEAD GIRL :) i feel much better now. im looking forward to the hollidays. tres bored though. i made a youtube video....
Rayne
xoxoxo

for brooke:)

hiya guyyys
brooke, its so amazingly good and lovely to have you back, i have missed you a million. i was starting to imagine all these bad things that could have happened and stalking your blog to see if you were okay. seems as though even though your safe, you werent okay. im so sorry hun. but we are always here okay? and well, my blogs kinda changed since we last talked so i thought i would give you some updates.

-Bella and i havent talked in about 6 months cause of a massive blow up. but yeh,....that doesnt matter and a topic not worth disscussing.
- wolf, a good friend of mine is a co-blogger on this blog now :)say hello wolf:)
-and im dating tttsnb....


im so glad your back.
i have missed you so much.
love always.
rayne
xo

Form room

Due to the weather Sparks and I are now, instead of doing our designated sporting activity, are in our form room. yay, not sport!!!! (-ing stuff)
I have accepted the one handed challenge which means that I can only use one hand for the rest of the afternoon.
Sparks doesn't understand why I would do this... because it is a challenge!
Now I am typing slow enough that if Rayne was watching it would give her a complex.
I have discovered that I can't play pacman or get past the second level of space invaders. I did get ranked in top ten on the first level but in pacman I was even more hopeless than usual.

Hey, Sparks here, i figured that once Serena died before reaching level two on Pacman (so pathetic), she would realise that you need two hands to play Space Invaders. She never got the message.
Its looks hell cold outside, and I really dont want to walk home in the rain.
Haahahhahahaha, the drama, or dance, whatever people are 'dancing' (or trying to), to some incredibly crappy music. Its like, the worst of the 70's or something. And the funny thing is, is that they aren't really dancing, they are just...moving. And Penguin is smiling, (or trying to). Sad, sad person. Also, does anyone know what a greyskull is? Coz he called someone a greyskull, and we were like...WTF???

er,,,

so i went shoping with my dad and sister for my mums birthday present today. just walking around karinyup and i was like "okay i got a job, i can afford to get her that perfume"...the perfume i knew she really liked was $80, so i thought "okay dude i can afford that..." but NO THEN MY SISTER decideds that my mother would much rather prefer the $160 channel perfume instead. NO NO NO NO NO. okay i do not mind when i spend that much on someone i really care for. BUT MY MOTHER? the woman i spend more time plotting her death, than talking too? buttttt ohhhhhh no, guess who went and spent $160 on her mother? yep thats me. congrats rayne, you just became 100-78864778987098 more stupid :), didnt think it could happen folks ayy? well too bad, it just did. but there is more :)

i buy the god damn perfume whilst fuming over the fact that i was going to spend the money i was spending on her, on a new pair of heels that i had seen last weekend, and then we go to buy cards. i pick a funny one, but NO it has to be all cute and lovely my sister says. well up yours! im buying her one with hitler on it and writing 'see the resemblence?'....i hate her i hate her....grrr and worst thing is, MY SISTER IS TURNING INTO HER! so either way, no matter what, i have a mother around. well FUCK YOU, you are both going to recieve the same amount of respect from me, aka NONE.annnyhow….

Weird day today. Robbie was extremely civil and made POLITE conversation with me. Mrs Bowen was a total bitch to us about bring stuff to English that isn’t for that lesson, and then two minutes later when she walked passed one of the kiss arses who was studying for science (ew.) and said “ oh do you have a test next?” and smiled. And to prove just how weird my day was, GOAT offered to HELP and TEACH wolf and I during our free study……..(which was after I had been sent out the library by him for writing on one of the boards in the IT room, and had sat in the cold,as it rained, singing Disney tunes, sitting on the top of the bag racks and kicking the poles…..tehehe this year 7 kid walked by and gave me a really weird look so I started yelling that I was a bag replacement…..cause one of the others got sick….er yeh…anyway…) so yeh. STRANGE day to say the least.

Going to Hippo Creek tomorrow for a birthday dinner for mum (PLEASE PLEASE god let her choke on her food) and then off to one of Johns parties with Wolf most likely. Either way I got a pretty dress :) and im happy…cause its pretty….but I cant find my favorite heels……which is depressing cause I think I left them in scotland and they cost me a arm and a leg…litrally, I only have two limbs now…….and i want to seeen tttsnb, but he is busyyyy :( but mehhhhh, i'll just take someone else...a little more furry....as in..wolf?god yes :)...Kai?maybe...:)Jake?possible....:)Seb?actually i think he is going eitherway....hahah.

I miss tttsnb….alot….time two….squared…plus 064763w465767980908975643425465687687097878545 to the power of a million……..


Speak later…btw, you realise no one comments blogs, or posts blogs anymore? Well…other than me. That’s sad.
Haha
Love you all.
Rayne
xo

hm.

oppps

sitting in the library....it is 8:28 exactly:) i showed wolf my latest poem, and she screamed out in the middle of the library, "DO I REALLY HAVE TO SLEEP WITH YOU TO GET YOU TO WRITE A POEM OR ANYTHING NICE ABOUT ME?" jeeeesh sorry,... so guys, be expecting something about wolf pretty damn sooon....
bell just went. ahhh chapel hahah
sucked in..
Rayne
xo

Welcome to science

Welcome to science, also known as hell,
it's really quite pleasant except for the smell,
i would be better off sleeping,
i just may as well,
goat is here, so we're heading to hell.

Welcome to science we are all dead,
goat talks alot of shit, be careful where you tread,
we don't lear alot but who gives a damn,
goat teaches nothing, this school is a sham.

Welcome to science, were all in hell,
counting each sencond, till the sound of the bell,
watch out for the measil tie,
seriously, its contagious, catch it and you die.

Welcome to science, where death is pleasant,
welcome to hell, which is anywhere goat is present,
dear goat we are not wishing you well, dear goat your to stupid for hell.

Welcome to science, the teachers a fool,
he babbles about microbes, i prefer listening to tool,
day dreaming about bullets, entering your head,
the teachers a jackass, lets hope he drops dead.

Welcome to science,, its really quite fun,
thats if you commit suicide, which we should have done,
goat is a pot head just like his son,
Welcome to science, oh, we shall have fun.

Welcome to science, armagedin has come,
or if your scandanavian,
ragnavoz when fenrir will eat the sun,
dear goat your outlook is not looking well,
we're in science, also known as hell.

Welcome to science, the devil is fucking awesome,
i walked in the door, and goat smelt of possum,
goat yaps on about nothing, as if he is narley,
truth be told goats voice makes me snarley,

Welcome to science,where the plants are rotten,
Welcome to hell,where the homework is forgoten.

Welcome to science, robbie payne is a prick,
he goes home at night a sucks bella dick,
Welcome to science, we play with agar,
truth be told id rather get hit by a car.


Rayne and Wolf.
xo

Hide

Have you ever sat there, staring out the room,
Thinking of the inevitable doom,
The two faced girls, the uptight guys,
In this world, where everybody lies.

You can’t escape, their always there,
To taunt and hurt and always stare,
Your not like them, Your on your own,
And that my friend, has always shown.

You walk the halls, your head hung low,
You hear their words, Blow by blow,
It cuts a little, each word they say,
You have to ignore it, Day by day.

You go to the classes, and pretend not to care,
As they criticize what you wear,
You are an individual, it doesn’t matter,
But hearing those words, still makes your cold heart splatter.

It’s not a good idea to show your emotions in a place like this,
Every time they see you cry, they are in bliss,
What is real, you have to conceal,
Because otherwise, your wounds have no time to heal.

The real friends you have not met,
Are really the people, who make your palms sweat.
You have no fears, other than being discovered,
Of all your truths, you have kept covered.

Away from the world, in your own mind,
They can not disturb you, for they are blind,
To the truth, of what’s going on,
For they do not to know, they are the spawn.

Is it worth it, you always wonder,
Your worlds a storm, and their your thunder,
That scares you away, that makes you hide,
But this is high school you have to abide.

You watch each day, as friendships break,
And wonder if that’s all it would take,
For a friendship to reach its doom,
And then your realise, its time to leave the room.

The many ramblings of my life.

Hey there all.

First of all a big shout out to The Thing That Should Not Be and Raynie Day for reaching their fourth month together. Congratulations! May you reach many more eventous passings of time. Thankyou TTTSNB for being there for Rayne always. Through the good times and through the bad. For being able to compramise when choosing cordial and acting as Raynes pack mule to carry the drinks home from Whitfords. Thankyou for the way you make her happy and you have quite litterally picked her up off of the ground and put her back on her feet. Thankyou for not dissowning her when she wanted to make peanut butter and jelly wraps (I have been there, she wanted to put jelly in our rayne drop cocktails). So all in all i'm glad that TTTSNB has not yet been stabbed in one of Raynes moments of cooking, and that you two were able to reach your third of a year mark, congrats.

Now I'd like to make mention of a sad event in my life. The sad passing of Samuel... my siamese fighting fish.

He managed to make it to two years and I hope that he may now be able to join his fishy friends Isaac and Vincent in that big fish bowl in the sky.

And High five to Sparks, Rayne and I now that we have an official written language that Sparks and I are almost fluent in , Rayne... Is getting there.

for him :)

sometimes when you tell me you love me, i dont say it back. which is silly. and im sorry, cause its stupid, and so far from the truth. so i am writting this for all the "i love you"'s that i have not said.

I love you more than i love the warmth of a hot cup of tea in my hands on a cold winter night. I love you more than i could ever write or say. Being in your arms makes me feel so safe and loved. I love you sooo much.I love cuddling into you when i get to cold. I love the way that just looking at your face makes me want to kiss you. i love the fact that you dont care about the little things and you love me for being me. i love your individuality. i love the way you are tattooed into my brain and are all i ever think about. i love the way you are the only thing i want to think about. i love your arms and how secure i feel walking hand in hand with you. i love the way when you laugh i get the butterflies. i love how you like the same music as me.

i love that i can ask to go to the zoo, and we go the next weekend. i love how you share my love of energy drinks. i love how i was yours from the first time you said hello. i love how we spent 9 hours talking the second time on msn, and never ran out of things to say. i love how you are always warm and i am always cold.

I love how when we kiss, we are in our own little world. i love how i cant stay mad at you. i love how big your hands are. i love how my body melts into yours when we cuddle and kiss. i love how you make me feel alive. i love how you make me feel. i love how seeing your face makes me smile. i love how hearing your voice makes me feel warm. i love that your mine and im yours.

and i love how much i love you.

xo

Sorry, This is how you do it.

There's many degrees of seriousness when saying sorry. 1 being the most sincere 5 being the least.

1- So sorry

2- Sorry

3- Soz

4- Sozzles

And finally...

5- Sozzle-copter

Do not do as Rayne did and say this to your angry mother.

fuck off twilight:)

sooo...wolf slept over last night...she is beside me now...we thought we would share our experience....have fun...


*wolf arives at door*
*Rayne opens door*


*Jackson(her dog) goes crazy...*

Wolf-"remeber when my sister tongue kissed jackson?"

Rayne-"yeah, she has gone further with my dog than her boyfriend"

*go to Raynes room and talk on her bed whiolst texting tttsnb*

Rayne-"lets go to the deli and get stuff to eat"

Wolf-"LETS MAKE RAYNEDROP MOCKTAILS!!!!!"

Rayne-"er...MOCKtails?"

Wolf-"fine have it your way"

Rayne-"thats what she said!"

Both-"tehehehehehehhe"

*go to deli and buy chocolate chips, 2L of lemonade and assorted sweets*
*walk out the deli and two guys walk by*
Rayne- "put your tongue back in!"

Wolf-"i was looking at his shoes!"
*rayne conspicusly dives round the corner to look at boys shoes....realising after that the boys are looking at her*
*Both spend 5 minutes laughing over the shoes*
*walk back to raynes to find her parents going ti the spa. her mum walks by in a swimsuit. we both blanch.*

R- may aswell make the drinks.
W- yer

RAYNEDROP MOCK\COCKTAILS
apple juice
absulut raspberri vodka
apple and grapefruit mineral water
lemonade
ribena
gummi sweets

Mix all in a large pitcher and drinkkk icyyy cold :D


*get changed into bikinis whilst drink is chilling in the fridge*
*parents leave spa*
*both get in*

R- i just got frostbite
w- ...i've never had that before.

*rayne stares at her*
w-have you?
R- do i have all my limbs wolf?
w-err yeh?
R-there is your answer.....


*proceed to drink raynedrop MOCK\COCKtails.*
*3 glasses later*

W- i have never been drunk before
R-you just feel happy and laid back
W-unless im an angry drunk
*rayne backs away*
W-SHUT UP!
R- chill, lets all share and feel the love here
W-what were you, born in the freaking 70's?
R-nooo, i was born the same year as you silly!

*drunken rambelings*
w-remember when i stole your bikini shirt and threw it on the wall where you couldnt reach it and you had to jump for it armed with a broom handle?
R-yeh and then that guy walked by...and i was like "SHIT" and ran off.

*start feeling floppy and limp*
R-how long have we been here for?
W-idk.
R- finish your glass! im 2 drinks ahead!
W-i dont want to get hungover...
*rayne gives her a VERY quizacale look.*
W-haha fine
R-PEER PRESSURE!
w- lets hope no one ever offers us drugs.....
R-errr yes....:D

*finds caramel buds in drinks*
W- why is there bread in our drinks?
R-.....oh wait those were the caramel buds we were experimenting with earlier....

*gets out and watch hot fuzz*

Rayne and Wolf
xoxoxo

Second blog off the day... Yeh i'm bored.

I'm sitting in my form room now ummm, I'm bored. Didn't see that coming did you?
Wolf: Hey Sparks...
Sparks:hey, oh crap you made me lose at pacman
Wolf:Well my space invader died

welcome to private schooling

HELLL AND SEX :D...now i have all peoples attention i wouldnt like to say a few things
1) the kid beside me is singing if your happy and you know it
2) he just told some guy called jono that he will see him this weekend?
3) the year tens are amusising
4)im tired
5) i wrote a love letter for the kid beside me to his ex.
6) he is in year 7 :P
7)the bell g=just went..
Rayne
xo

My Life as is

Okay I know I haven't been able to blog for ages but i've been busy and just plain lazy.

Anyway this week I have been anoyed and starved to an inch of my life. My Sister being the main course of annoyance. And my mother being the main course of Starvation. She is on this new saving money thing that means that we only shop once a fortnight. The saving money part is working out great except now we have nothing edible in the whole house, Genius idea Mum. As for my sister? Now my mother is angry at me cause apparently I ate all the noodles in the house. F.Y.I I only ate one, my sister ate two of them as well as two muffins. Leading to the fact that I also got angry at her and called her a fat heffalump (Yeh, I was particuarly harsh and creative with my insults this week). And there is no fruit or vegetables in the house this week either so i'm all set for the scurvy to get me... Fun.

Am typing this in the library computer lab with the weird kid writing love letters over his web mail and sing if you're happy and you know it clap your hands. And I say "If you're fucked up and you know it clap your hands" Yeh...

what now?

death. you can't escape it. its impossible. you see it coming, you know its coming for a fact. but when it happens..well it still feels like a bullet to your heart. you feel like you can't breath. how could this person not be here still? since when has that suprior bastard whoever the hell he is, that lives up there, think he has the right to take some one from us? who the hell gave him or her the option to take a persons life? its fucking unfair that i have to sit through lesson after lesson of christian studdies listening to how the fucking world is controled by some guy who made us and somehow has the right to take us away at any moment. i remember when i was younger my priest told me a story when my goldfish died. it was about how god really just wanted to meet my goldfish himself, and cause he was in heaven they would finally meet. well you know what god? FUCK OFF AWAY FROM ALL OF MY FRIENDS.if my preist was right, then why couldnt god just wait? wait, just for us to complete our life cylce. its not right for someone to try so fucking hard to stay strong and alive when your ultimate goal is to stop them from reaching their 18th birthday. might suprise you to know i used to be a really strong christian. i didnt understand when my sister told me when she was ten that she didnt believe in god. i think the first time i ever questioned christianity was when i was ten myself, and my tortoise died. we had took him to the vets. we were supposed to give him injections every 4 hours for the rest of the day. and after his second injection, when he was finally acting a bit better,he died in my hands.has anyone here ever felt anything die before.? i could actually feel this tinny creatures life force leave him. he curled away in his shell. and that was the first time i actually experienced death. since then it seems to have taken a liking to me. since it keeps on coming my way. its unfair. unjust. unbelievable. and i dont know how to cope with it any more. do you just carry on? like i have? if thats the right thing to do, then why do i feel guilty that im going to make it to my 21st birthday and they arent? people shouldnt make promises they cant keep. i just pray to whoever the hell he or she is up there, that they never take any of you guys away.

Rayne
xo

welcome to....the computer lab?

bonjour :)
well im in business studdies.....and holy bloody glamoli i just was the first person to hand in my assignment.....geesh i guess there really is a first time for everything....haha neway im bored......emma just scratched her arse...nice....er....oh heres a little thing from sparks to entertain you.okay set this scene in your head....

*kim and sparks are standing by Raynes locker as she approaches*
*Rayne starts talking whilst pilling her books in her arms*
*sparks starts laughing like a loon on loon tablets*
Sparks- "wolf takes a book to class....I take lipgloss...and Rayne...well Rayne takes this months issue of Cleo"

shut up. just a bit of lightreading......hey answerr me this....are you an asparagus, a carrot, or a mushroom? i will be interested to hear your answers :)

Laterssss
Raynnnne
xoxoxox

fuck...er... who?

Sparks - FUCK YOU!
Wolf- FUCK ME THEN!
Rayne-FUCK YEAH!

:) good times

Rayne
xoxox

who knew a Wolf could laugh so much at the Rayne?

okayyy so wolf and i had been talking on the phone for like 2 and a half hours.....please try and keep up and not think of me as a sick pervert since WOLF just took what i was saying the wrong way. i was perfectly inoccent okkkay?Try work out what we were talking about :)

Wolf-blah blah blah blah blah
Rayne-i have a hole i can fit my fist into...
Wolf- WHAT!?!?!?
Rayne-no honest,k stop laughing, i have a hole.its like between my legs
Wolf- well thats where it normally is...
and then we laughed for so long, and wolf started to cry and i bit down on my chest of drawers...and then wolf asked why i was bitting my chest,...at least i think she did, we were still in hysterics....

oh and by the way. we were talking about the hole in my tracky pants=]

Rayne
xox

the sad truth

The sad truth is i cant trust anything people say.
The sad truth is i dont want to be alone.
The sad truth is most of the time that im not talking, im thinking of ways to kill myself.
The sad truth is i want to run away.
The sad truth is i dont love my family.
The sad truth is i have the inability to trust.
The sad truth is i like the feeling on my skin when i burn myself.
The sad truth is i read books to escape.
The sad truth is when i see no one has emailed me i feel even more alone
The sad truth is she emails me every day.
The sad truth is that text message kept me alive
The sad truth is i wish i was never born.
The sad truth is i give advice, when i know shit all.
The sad truth is im in too deep
The sad truth is im so scared i'l lose him, that i cant sleep
The sad truth is when i finally start getting better, i have to leave.
The sad truth is my bestmate doesnt trust me with her boyfriend.
The sad truth is people encourage this
The sad truth is people say i cant trust my boyfriend
The sad truth is i don't know who to trust.
The sad truth is my mum can make me cry by just 3 words.
The sad truth is i would do anything for my mates.
The sad truth is they dont see this.
The sad truth is i piss people off so much
The sad truth is i had a best mate, who even helped me start blogging, but i screwed things up with him, and i miss him so much.
The sad truth is i hug myself at night when i cry cause im scared im going to fall apart
The sad truth is i miss everyone so much
The sad truth is i dont deserve anything i have.
The sad truth is im happy.
The sad truth is i wouldnt change it for the world.

Rayne
xox

Boredom consumes me

I am soo bored at the moment. I am sitting in my cooking class writing this on the primative school laptops. I suppose I should be grateful that I get to do this instead of cleaning the classroom, which was blessfully done before me. Missing Rayne as I write this because she would have loved the fact thet I managed to get around the laptop filtering system to type this. I could watch the kstupid cartoon that is on... but a mind is a presious thing to be wasted watching cooking rats. Yep the fat chef has just been reincarnated... Oh joy. Sorry in the sarcastic mood. Going without Rayne in science is guarented to make a tedious version of hell a heck of a lot more tedious. I speak of the enjoyable lesson of science which I may add is not enjoyable (Heavey enthesis on the word NOT). There is many reasons why I am not finding science fun but i'll have to describe them properly. My old english teacher said you must describe things by using the five senses, Okay here's my attempt; Smell: Gas? definately gas. Goat spends ten minutes checking for gas leaks. How do you know if there is a gas leak? You light a match of course! Sight: Firstly my eyes fall on goats jumper that looks as if someone has puked on it. Iv'e heard of that bible chracter with his technicolour dream coat, Goat looks as though he is Goat and his technicolour yawn jumper. Feel: I fel nautious after staring at Goats jumper for so long. Taste: Taste? I taste nothing, you'e not meat to eat anything in the science room

hmmm i was very angry this morning ay...
anyhow today we are going shopping XD and then seeing my grandparents....joy.
as i stated before. i miss you guys.
Rayne.
x

Tears Dont Fall

I dont understand. Okay all you people out there know that it takes alot for me to get fully upset about something. I mean im alright if someone is really ticking me off then il tell them where to go, but i have this thing. I dont understand how such harsh words can be said between so many people.(especially ones who are supposed to be on the side lines) and then they both go "golly gosh im sorry, lets be friends". alrighty. if im not talking to someone its for a reason. its more than just hurt feelings. I DONT LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE SAY ONE THING AND MEAN ANOTHER AND ARE TWO FACED AND PROMISE TO NOT DO THINGS THEN GO AHEAD AND DO THEM. yes i am ranting. but im angry and its boiling and i have no one to talk to so here it goes I DONT CARE THAT THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HALF OF YOU AND IS ONLY DIRECTED TO A FEW PEOPLE, MY MSN IS FUCKED AND I REALLY DONT FEEL LIKE HAVING A MYSPACE CHAT ABOUT THIS.EVERYBODY IS GOING TO SEE THIS AND FOR ONCE I DONT CARE. (btw this blog is directed at certain people and im not just talking about one person so hopefully all the people im being angry at in this blog realise who they are and dont go "oh sorry" i am so freaking bored of hearing those words since they seem to mean nothing anymore) Remember when i asked you for one thing? do you remember that? and then you were like "meh" and did what i asked you not to do? and remember how i was like " can you just stay out of this for a bit. i would prefer if communication between you guys didnt exist until things are sorted out"??are you actually retarted? i mean i hardly ask for anything but still you do it. and what the hell. YOU CANT JUST SAY SORRY AND THINK EVERYONE WILL FORGIVE YOU, IT DOESNT WORK LIKE THAT! THINGS TAKE TIME. ALOT OF FEELINGS AND FRIENDSHIPS HAAVE BEEN FUCKED BY ALL OF THIS AND IM SICK OF IT! i cant be fucked with all of this. AND BILBY PLEASE STOP COMMENTING ON SITUATIONS THAT YOU ACTUALLY KNOW SHIT ALL ABOUT ! gosh im angry....
GRRRRRR
stop all of this "i have to be nice to them even though i hate them " crap okay people? your just as bad as that said person if you dont stand up and say how you feel. I AM NOT SAYING TO GO AHEAD AND BE A TOTALL WANKER TO A PERSON YOU DONT LIKE. what i am saying is im sick of hearing all of these people be like "arg i fucking hate blahblahblah" and then going up and being all bestmates with them.
AND FOR ALL THOSE PEOPLE OUT THERE=
I DONT GIVE A FUCK IF PEOPLE THINK I HAVE CHANGED. I DONT WANT TO SEE PEOPLE DEBATING OVER THAT FACT ALL OVER OUR BLOGGING COMMUNITY OKAY? I AM WHO I AM. STOP TELLING ME IM DIFFERENT OR THAT IM NOT THERE ANYMORE. IM SICK OF BEING TOLD THAT IM DOING SOMETHING IM NOT OR BEING TOLD THAT I JUST FUCKING WALK AWAY FROM MY FRIENDS WHEN THEY NEED ME. I MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS. NOW CAN YOU ALL LEAVE ME ALONE? I DONT WANT TO BE PART OF THIS ANYMORE. AND I DONT CARE WHAT IT TAKES. IL DELETE THIS MY BLOGGER ACOUNT IF I HAVE TO.

IF YOU SAY SOMETHING AND YOU MEAN IT BUT FEEL MEAN AFTERWARDS OR REALISE HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET PISSED WHEN THEY READ YOU SAYING IT THEN FOR FUCK'S SAKE PLEASE STOP BLAMING IT ON
A)YOUR ANGER
B)YOUR UPSET
C)OTHER FREAKING PEOPLE

stop blaming me for stuff i havent done. during this whole thing i have been there for everyone. and i know for sure who exactly are the people who mean the most.i have been hurt so much through all this
did you know when i did that shit to my wrist it hurt less than the things people have accused me of?
im sick of all this. and im actually glad im not in Australia because of it.
its like fucking world war 3 back in Perth.
im sick of feeling abused.
im sick of feeling angry.
im sick of feeling hurt.
im sick of feeling like i have to put on a strong face for those around me.
dont you guys realise im weak? its destroying me. I'll keep on doing it though. cause thats what im needed for. you guys are my reason of existence.
When my friends cry, i cry for them.
when they are hurting i hurt too.
I cried the whole night after the ryan thing cause i was so worried about Meg.
When Lauz did that thing to her leg i started crying cause i was so worried and upset for her.
Do you see what i mean when i say im not strong?
i cant stand it anymore.
the strangest thing is,
I miss you all so much.
Rayne

malayyysia

Konichiwa from god knows how high in the sky,
I cant sleepL so I have decided to come on my laptop and write a blog on Microsoft word to copy onto blogger when I finally get my internet back.Now those of you who weren’t there last night to say goodbye or didn’t see me at school are probably thinking what the fuck is this chick on right? Haha so for you idiots who haven’t caught the drift by now, I AM ON A TRASPORTATION DEVICE CALLED A PLANE. Had to type that in capitals to remind myself of that. Have you ever noticed how revolting the toilets on a plane are? I have been on like 200 since I was born and everytime it ceases to amaze me how horrid they are. I just went to check my hair cause I was heaps bored and had listened to two clash albums 4 times already. Oh I forgot to tell you. I am on a plane for a reason funnily enough. Im on my way to Malaysia, and for those of you yet again left in the dark, I LIVED THERE FOR 3 AND A HALF YEARS. Yet again with the capitals…..so yep and we are staying In KL for a night and im getting my nails sorted again thank god XD and then going SHOE shopping ^_^ suck on that sparks :P and after this one night in KL we go on our 13HOUR(WTF!) flight straight to GLASGOW. Why do my home countrys have to be so far away? Tisn’t fair! Anyhow yes…we are staying in Scotland for nearly a month. God I miss Josh already and its only been like 12 hours since I last saw him….anyhow. Lets talk about last night J


I went and got my hair cut straight after school and cause we were going to the movies after I had to get ready at school now this normally wouldn’t be anything out of the ordinary but when you are going to the movies dressed as a skanky fairy sometimes you get weird looks from the people you are running past in whitfords cause your late for your hair appointment. Anyhow I arrived and this is the conversation I had with my favorite hairdresser mark J
Mark- what you got planned for tonight Rayne?
Rayne- Im going to the movies with people and such……dressed as fairies.
Mark-haha yes I noticed the outfit. When is the movie?
Rayne-5o’clock…….
Mark- RAYNE IT IS 3:50,HOW CAN I DO A COLOUR CUT AND DRY IN AN HOUR ?
Rayne- I don’t mind being late…sorry….
Mark- its okay. Il get you out of here soon as possible.
Rayne- taJ
And after that I had two people putting dye in my hair to do it faster. Then I had it washed out and 3 people blow dried it dry. Then they all straightened it. The mark cut it.
Now for you dumb people (yet again! I am getting sick of having to explain this for the people too slow to keep up! Can you imagine if I was saying this aloud? These people would be like “I CANT UNDERSTAND HER ! SHE IS SCOTTISH AND SPEAKING FAST ! well too bad people, my friends will tell you, you have to learn to keep up or your left a trillion years behind without half the information you need.)anyhow as I was saying :s what was I saying? Oh yes the three people thingy(no im not talking about a threesome you sick minded people out there) well normally it only takes one person to do each job. I was outta the hairdressers in under an hour and twenty minutes XD

So after my exciting trip to the hairdressers. TTSND and myself walked to the movies with Sparks and Wolf. Being 30 minutes late by this point… anyhow. And then the movies went like this.
TTTSNB, Sparks,Wolf and myself walk in.
I see that we are sitting in the middle.
I make lauz move down the front with us cause im short sighted and didn’t want to be sitting at the back
I text wolf and sparks to come down and sit with us.
TTTSNB and I move a few rows forward
Lauz and Dana become(BIGGER) perverts.
The movie finishes
We buy Mc Donalds
Then I have the ingenious idea of getting timezone pictures
We get the photos and bump into Jack Stracan, Jake rotham and some other faggots and each girl pukes in their pants at the sight.
I have to leave with wolf.
We get very emotional as we say goodbye and I very unusfully state that it is okay that I am only leaving for one twelfth of a year…..
Feel sad as we drive away.
Got home and pack laptop bag.


Now as you know im on the plane and im listening to bullet for my valentine scream outta my new crappy headphones.( they are faulty and I payed 20 bucks for them!)
And wishing that this flight wasn’t going to take so long. I tried drawing for a bit cause it calms me and makes me feel safe and nice. But it didn’t help. OH SHIT TERBULENCE. All is okay…hahah anyhow my sister very stupidly told me that the more people there are on a plane the least likely of it going down because people have this thing in them that warns them that something is going to go wrong and they cancel their ticket not knowing that it was themselves warning themselves of danger but thinking they have the cold etc. And I laughed and was like oh cool. NOT SO COOL NOW THE FLIGHT IS HALF EMPTY. And I normally love like turbulence and taking off and landing but now im scared that suddenly out plane is just going to explode or something. I love travelling. Like the airports and getting ready to go and doing my lipgloss in the airport toilets before buying cool stuff in duty free. But I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE(you get the picture) the actual flight. I remember the first time we flew first class. That was gooooood. But nup this flight we have to sit on uncomfy chairs that are making my bum hurt. Okay just over 2 hours to go……I will be okay…..thats only 120minutes to face the chance of suddenly blowing apart.

My sister stole the window seat and I was like “meh” until I realized that I wanted to sleep and she didn’t and she was the one with something to rest her head against. Unfair much?

Blahhh my mum was being a cow. I was like aww that’s so sweet my friends have texted me at like 4am telling me they love me and to have funJ and my mum goes “god they need to get a life”WTF MUM YOU CAN HARDLY TALK. HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE AGAIN? Bleh and she was like your breaking out all over your forehead. I was like “aren’t you charming”

Im listening to tears don’t fall (one of my top 10 favorite songs) and its reminding me of josh.miss him…and wolf…and sparks…and meg..and dana…and liam…and spence…and bilby…and james….and kai….and jake….and seb…and alotta more people….haha only one twelfth of a year right?...

Must be going. My laptop is running outta power,

“Tiptoe to ur room, A starlight in the gloom, I only dream of you, And you never knew, Sing for absolution, I will be singing”

Rayne
xoxo

i promised i wouldnt blog about this but i have to.

sometimes in life things pop up out of the blue.they suprise you, and your not sure how to react.How can you always be sure you did the right thing?you changed for the right reasons?or you choose the right path?Its the small things.The things like feeling this insane amount of warmth and rightness when you see that persons face when they arrive for coffee that windy and rainy day.The only way to describe how i feel when my friends are scared or in pain or hurt is that I'm terrified.I'm terrified every moment i'm not with them.I'm terrified every time they leave my sight.What if something happened to them?what if something happened to them when they got home from school and you never got to see their smile or hear their laughter ever again?Mr Tate talked to us today about the 'what ifs' about what happened to meg yesterday.i started to cry.It makes me hurt so much to think of what could have happened.Last night i was kept awake with thoughts of 'what if he had slipped?''what if it had been wolf and he had hurt her?' 'what if that had happened, and i hadn't been there to protect Meg or Wolf?'

People say i have changed.I used to be and i will honestly say this a self obsessed bitchy two faced girl who treated people like crap. Looking back i dont know why Wolf or Meg or Lauz or Kim or any of the others are still here for me. I don't deserve their friendship, but they waited. they waited till i realised what was happening.They waited for me to realise that i was the kind of person i detest.the one who would put guys before girls. and lie to their friends.I am and always will be sorry for how i was.

I stand up for what i believe in and don't just do what i think people expect of me anymore. I lost the person i used to be.And i think i have finally found her. I read that some people think i just disappeared the moment trouble started.But I'm sorry, i couldn't stand by you whilst you did that. Its fair enough saying friends should always stand by you.But when is it time to draw the line?I cant be the person you want me to be. I cant do that. you say that it was like i didn't care. Trust me i did. It was one of the hardest things i have ever had to do. But i couldn't carry on as i was. It was slowly but surely ripping me apart from inside out.

You cant blame this all on one person. It wasn't him who made me change. It was me. I stood by and watched my friends fight like beggars over food. but this was them fighting over something i don't understand. they were fighting over a guy. a jackass, knife threatening, prick of a guy. I watched as friendships were ruined and tears were shed. and i couldn't take it anymore. i tried to be there for everyone.but i cant. i cant watch my friends do that. i cant watch them go through pain like that. i cant stand by and watch as my friends start cutting themselves like its the latest trend. or carving fucking hearts onto their legs. No i cant. And i wont. So i withdrew. not just a little. Completely. It was like somebody pressed my self protect button. I walked around like a ghost. an empty hollow ghost.

I didn't stop caring. far from it. i cried each night. and did things that have left me with most likely life scars. Iv learnt a lesson. Life sure as fuck isnt fair. I carried on like this untill...i think it was the day Bella and heather had that argument with Robbie and spence. about the using thingy. Yet again my friend was getting hurt. Why do people feel the need to bring people down? if they are miserable, everybody else has to be too. Hence if for once lauz was in a happy and loving relationship and heather and bella were single, they had to ruin that relationship.I hate it. Cant friends just be happy? that was the day i realised. these aren't my real friends. the ones that smile when i talk about josh and see how happy i am, they are my real friends. the ones that don't judge me over something i did and understand why i did it, they are my real friends.

I didn't just walk away. I didn't just say "hey I'm happy and your not and i don't want to be around someone who is unhappy" i COULDN'T stand by you anymore. I couldn't stand by you whilst you put a guy before a best friend. i couldn't stand by you whist you made those little comments that hurt like hell. i couldn't stand by you as you ripped me apart. i wasn't happy. But josh eases the pain.he makes me feel special. he listens. I don't care about what you think of him. i honestly don't. It doesn't matter to me whether you trust him or not. what matters is what i think, if i trust him, and if i love him. and i do. so for once, please just let this be about someone else. the world doesn't revolve around you.

i dont want to fight. i dont want to be best friends. i just want to be me. and i want to be happy. And i cant take this anymore.so i wont.

I'm not perfect, and i never will be. I will never claim to be the worlds best friend. But i will never go back to that person i became.

Rayne

Japanese and why i speak.....Beccalandish....

konichi wa :)
ogenki desu ka? haha im sitting in japanese laughing at our flake of a teacher Mr Brown. Thank god we dont have Dinosaur haha i dont think i could have handled her fashion sense today :P we were supposed to hand in our signed japanses test, but i didnt get it signed......since that was the reason we were being punished for being dumb last week....and so as you may have guessed...i forged my dads signature.....HEY Lauz did it too alrigh!!! i will not be punished unless she is aswell!:P sooo yerr....is it pathetic to be excited about going home so i can watch Bleach?yer...probs ayy.....holly crap that is funny...**pokes Wolf for attention and points to the board**wolf gives strange facial expression back**Wolf reads Board and has a uncontrolable laughing fit*
The board reads-
Tuesday,6th June, Year 9, Period 5
1) comprehension
2)write up questions about oral
3)practice oral with other students, change partners after 10 minutes and clean up after yourself

ahhh thats private schooling for ya :)

Cheerio
Raynnnnie
x

Japanese and the reasons I speak English

Wolf writing this ALONE and that is why I am depressed.

 I am stuck in my own personal version of purgatory in japanese, away from Rayne and doing a TEST! urgh!

So here I am thinking that this isn't so hard as Mr Brown has left the hirigana chart on the wall uncovered so all I have to do is guess the chon chons. Truth be told the chon chons mean nothing all I know is that their name sounds funny :). So in my moments of staring around the room as if I have been forced to memorise it I glance at Rayne, who glances and me before making frantic eye and hand gestures towards her test paper to see if I know the answers. I obviously don't. I mean does she really think me of all people would have any answers to a Japanese test? Estimado senore! I simply shrug and point to the chart on the wall. Rayne is relived until she realises, like me, she has no idea what a little tsu does. I glance around the room again as if the answers to the test will magically appear if I stare at the door one more time. I quit staring at the door because I realise it is time to move on when you envision yourself running from the room screaming as you go. Next to the door is a Spike the echidna where Rayne and I last stuck it to the wall. I stare it transfixed, it seems light a shining symbol of hope in a world full of confusing little tsu's. Rayne and I frantically make random hand and eye gestures at each other in hope of finding the answers to the test (which are as hard tofind as something half decent in Dinosaurs wardrobe). Mr Brown looks up "Sorry guys you can relax, I read the lesson instructions wrong. There is no test" Rayne and I look at each other "GGGrrrrr"

Tediosa version del inferno

R= Bonjour mon cherie :)

W= Hola mon amigo

R= Comment t' apples tu?

W= Beni (and yes, I do know that that is italian but i'm being multicultural damn it!)

R= Hehe Ohayo gazimasu?

W= Konnichiwa, also that means good morning so there isn't meant to be a question mark

R= *Scribbles out the question mark* Better now?

W= Si, Tediosa version del inferno?

R= Oui! Ogenki desu ka?

W= Hai genki desu, anata wa?

R= Hai genki desu, arrigato. Ok now I think we have run out of words that aren't in english.

W= No way, Goat es una marcia puta

R= And that means? cause F.Y.I  can't speak spanish

W= Goat is a queer slut

R= *laughs loudly* Hai! Dozo, have a piece of paper *hands wolf a piece of paper*

W=Okay now we have exhausted our supply of words that are from a different language. So while Rayne is writing up the report I'm going to document what is going on and personally I am amazed our experiment hasn't been screwed up yet as usual. To be honest though I have no idea what we are meant to be doing so i'm just going to go along with what Rayne says and smile and nod like I understand. *Smiles and nods and goats stares at Wolf strangely, Wolf stares strangely back* I would also like to add that Raynes hair looks espeacily pretty today.

R= Aw thanks babe(: Yours does too. The teacher couldn't understand what I was saying so he told me to get someone that speaks english to ask him for me. I sent Wolf up... oh and look at that he understands her. Wow I didn't know Wolf spoke Goat... Bah he is such a jerk. Wait... is that milk purple?! (:

W=Wolf is fluent in many languages. I was having a hard time talking to Goat and keeping a straight face on account that he has this giant bumpy thing on his neck the size of Mars. Urgh! And yes the milk is purple, indigo to be precise. And now the other stuff is midnight blue and now it looks like pee, lovely. Now i'm off to steal some tape for Rayne.... Darn! Goat doesn't have any, will a push pin surfice? 

R= I think that will tear the paper sadly, BAH! Bell... Buisness studies!

And in conclusion that is just another typical lesson of Science... Boring! But with a Certain Raynieday and Wolf cub it is a lot more interesting (not according to goat though)

the ones that......

bonjour chers amis,

voici deux photos récentes des personnes les plus importantes dans ma vie .



































the peace maker

Laura- A.k.a- Lauz bear, lauz, lauraaaa smith :)

she is the stunning blonde at the front beside yours truly :) she is the pea to my pod. the john to my lennon. the lemmon to my....tree? i love her with my heart and soul.



the one that always falls over.

Kimberly- A.k.a- kimbo, kimmmi,kimmi bear:)

The awesome chick checking herself out in the mirror on the opposite side of me:Pshe is the girl you can rely on not to be able to copy from during english or history :) her hand writing is so neat you cant read it :) she cant do anything without falling over,including sitting.i love her with all the lip gloss in my blazer pocket.



the one with the long arms

Marjike- A.k.a marika.....

The cool person holding the phone, she has the longest arms.......she always comes out with the weirest things at the strangest of times. If you need an akward movie line then she is your girl. I love her as much as i love toasties :)



the one i couldn't live without

Serena-A.k.a the co-writter of this blog, Wolf, Seri.

she has been my best friend since year 6. she has stood by me during the good and the bad and never given up. I cant imagine my life without her. Sometimes just seeing her face as i walk out of class makes me think things will be okay. When i need a shoulder to cry on, hers is the one that ends up drowned in tears. she has on countless occasions made me wet my pants laughing. Christmass wrapping on her living room floor. Sleepovers in the tent out in her back yard. I will never forget a moment.This girl is my life. I need her for survival just like i need air. i love her as much as i love.....her hair ^_^



they are my girls.

not all are there. but these are the ones i will never forget.

















the girls you know you couldnt live without.


the girls that you would do anything for.


The girl that you would do anything they ask in a heartbeat.


the girls you laugh with, not at.


the girls you know are going to last.


the girls you weep for when they are sad.


and call in the mornings to just say hello.


the girls you go see after a shitty date.


the girls you know you can always depend on no matter what.


four girls.


Serena, Marjike,Kimberly, Rebecca.

Shorties

xxx

TVH episode.......

R- we are being punished for being dumb......this is ridiculous, they are making us write these bloody hirigana charicters over and over and over and....over..

W-urg, and you know whats sad? i was just happy cause a spike the echidna was on the wall. im happy because of paper echidna scribbles on a wall.....

R-LOL, in this sad place anything that is remotely funny or brings happieness can brighten up your day. example- im so pathetic i just got excited over my pencil being sharp....

W- okay this is sad..... lites frown at her
** both narrow eyes and glare at dinosaur**
STOP
**and again**
STOP
**and again**

R- BAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA


Jordan- you never gave me my japanese homework back after copying it last week,.....
R- yer i did...*remembers throwing it in bin*
J-nope
R- ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF STEALING YOUR JAPANESE HOMEWORK, COPYING IT AND THROWING IT IN THE BIN !?!?!?!??! :O
J- : you put it in the bin?
R- shut up....

W- you also said " are you accusing me of taking your sheet boy?!?!?!?!?" ohh and rayne, would you like to borrow my honnnnn???

R- Japanese is pornographic. And you dont help make it less dirty...HAI DOZO

W- hypocrite

R- this is so boring..... heres a joke "whats the square root of Dinosaur?"

W- *grunt*

R- No, goat :)

W- genius....anyhow....that cd so wasnt porographic ayyy

R- LOL the alien was moaning and asking for a pencil.....

W- what would an alien with magic powers want with a pencil? and why would it come to our pesky little plannet?

R- cause you cant get poptarts where he is from duhhh. maybe he is on the run from the alien police :O aww he is cute. lets call him kashite :)

W-why did she just tell us off....?

R- cause we are to sexy for these skirts.....and also not from prehistoric times...

W- yehh,,,,,,thats it........you worry me.....


***bell*******

just your typical friday first period chit chat :)

xxx

=)

bojour,

Do you ever feel as though everything is perfect?Like for once in your life things are looking up and the small things dont matter so much anymore? that is how i feel :) Its been a long time since iv been so happy. So long infact that i cant even remember a time i was this happy. I dont care about my imperfections anymore. I have someone who loves me for me. I dont feel like i have to pretend to be something im not. I can just be me and he accepts me. It's amazing how one person can turn your life around.

I has had the bestest day :) I went to whitfords with tttsnb and bought a new nightdress (which i was asked repetively to put on and told that i was killing someone by not doing it....) then we went back to his house and watched nightmare on elm street 6. Then played around for awhile. After getting a bit frustrated by the presence of a parent in the house, the parent we were considering bribing into leaving the property actually left :S no joke i was like "bahhh just pay him" and we heard the car start then drive away....anyhow so yes we carried on our buissness thankfull of the 'no longer here' presence of the parent being awayyyyyy. And then about 10 minutes in.....the presence returned >:- twas not happy bout that fact but movvvving on....tttsnb went to greet his father, may i add LEAVING THE BEDROOM DOOR OPEN BEHIND HIM whilst I attempted to sort myself out. When he that leaves bedroom doors open returned i gave up trying to sort myself out without the helping hand of a mirror and decided to go to the bathroom to use its aid...bumping in to he who leaves bedroom doors opens father on the way....
**Rayne walks out bedroom and walks into the now returned presence on her way**
**looks up**
"oh hi, sorry"
**the now returned presence looks at very embarrassed son's girlfriend and does a double take when he realises how flushed the girl loooks**
"...erm that's okay...."
**the very embarrassed girlfriend runs to bathroom to seee hair in a very messy state and cheeks on fire**
"dammit....."
**goes back to bedroom with hair brushed and cheeks cooling down to find a even more flushed
looking boyfriend standing in front of his telly**
"guessing your dad knows we had sex?"
**flushed boyfriend looks confused**
"sure hope not...."

and then we watched another movie this time in the living room with the presence and ate pretzels and drank some of the 24 bottles of pub squash and LA ice we had carried all the way from whitfords....okay maybe i had made tttsnb carry themm....shut up:)

hahaha
anyway just thought id share my embarrassing encounter with my boyfriends dad with you all :)....and i hope you all learn a lesson from this story.....haha get your boyfriend to put a mirror in his room :P

cheerrrrio
Raynnne
xx
p.s welcome to blogger Lauz :)
xx

schooool

we (wolf and i) are sitting in the library whilst supposed to be doing assignments....and you guessed it.....we hav failed :D hahaha blogging is much funner....ayyy remember tedious versions of hell??? welll wolf has joined blogger XD
gtg bellllll
Wolf and Rayne.....
xxx

meeeee + 100

1. Last alcoholic beverage – Lemon Rusky Russian Vodka:)
2. Last phone call - 20 minutes ago with joshh
3. Last text message - Heather
4. Last song you listened to – leave out all the rest- Linkin park
5. Last time you cried - sometime last week...
SIX HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice - yer
7. Been cheated on - yerr :(
8. Kissed someone & regretted it - not realy
9. Lost someone special – god yeah
10. Been depressed – sorta i guess
11. Been drunk and threw up – baha fuck yeah
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:
(2009)15. Made new friends - yerr
16. Fallen out of love - yepp
17. Laughed until you cried - bahaha kaiii
18. Met someone who changed you – :)yup
19. Found out who your true friends were – yerr
20. Found out someone was talking about you – baha since when havent they?
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list - hahaha quite a few
22. How many people on your top friends list do you know in real life - i dont have one atm
23. How many kids do you want to have - some
24. Do you have any pets - JackkksoonnnnnXD
25. Do you want to change your name – nahhh
26. What did you do for your last birthday –Parttty:)
27. What time did you wake up today - errr like 6ish?
28. What were you doing at midnight last night -Thinking
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for –Saturday:)
30. Last time you saw your Mother – like 30ish minutes ago?
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life - errr
32. What are you listening to right now –my hell loud clock ticking...and this mix CD Seb gave me..
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom - bahaha yerrr
34. What's getting on your nerves right now? - that clockkk....
35. Most visited webpages - myspace and facebook i guess
36. Whats your real name -Rebecca-Elliday Copland
37. Nicknames –Bec,Bex-kitten,Rayne,Bec-hor.....
38. Relationship Status - in a relationship funnily enough :)
39. Zodiac sign - Aquarious...
40. Male or female or transgendered - ask Josh that one :)
41. Primary school -Hillllarys Primary:)
42. High School - SMACS yerrr:)
43. University -hopefully
44. Hair colour – changes too often haahaha
45. Long or short - lonnnng
46: Height - Spencer is now sadly basicly taller than me....
47. Do you have a crush on someone? - heheh
48: What do you like about yourself? - :s.....
49. Piercings – nup
50. Tattoos - narrr
51. Righty or lefty - rightyy :D
FIRSTS:
52. First surgery – on my hip....
53. First piercing -ears
54. First best friends -Lauz,Josh,Bilby,Ionaaa,Heathher,Spencer,Kai,Jake,Seb and stuff...
. First vacation – Spaiiin:D
RIGHT NOW
59. Eating - nooodles
60. Drinking - canberry juice
61. I'm about to - run round China naked
62. Listening to – My clock....and some random song Seb likes....he made us listen to it like 458906546859 times in the car...member that bella?:Phahaa funnny..
63. Waiting on - SaturdayYOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids? - yeap
65. Get married? - yuppp
66. Careers in mind? - Journalism :)
WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes -eyes
68. Hugs or kisses – Bitta both pllllease :)
69. Shorter or taller- Taler71. Romantic or spontaneous - Spontaneous
72. Nice stomach or nice arms - Joshhhhs arms...nuff said....XD
73. Sensitive or loud - ever noticed how i like it LOUD?:)
74. Hook-up or relationship - relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant - hehe you guess
HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger - yuppp
77. Drank hard liquor - yuppity
78. Lost glasses/​contacts-​ bahaha yerrr i cant see properly atm cause i lost mine
79. Sex on first date - :S
80. Broken someone's heart – so it has been said
81. Had your own heart broken - yerrr
82. Been in a fight – hahahhaha yepp
83. Turned someone down - yup
84. Cried when someone died - yup:(
85. Liked a friend that is a girl? - hehe yup...
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself - sometimes
87. Miracles -YOU SEXY THING
88. Love at first sight – hmmm im pretty sure i do:)
89. Hell- my home town? deffs yeah :)
90. Santa Claus – Yer mannn sexy beast
91. Kiss on the first date - mmmph depends
92. Angels – yup:)
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
93. Is there one person you want to be with right now? - yeahs
94. Had more than one boyfriend/​girlfriend at one time? - nuppp..well....
95. Did you sing today? –hahahah
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go? Agesssss
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it? yeahh
99. Are you afraid of falling in love? – already have, so being scared wont do me much good :)100. Posting this as 100 truths? - hahaha probs not :)


hey guyyys do this and post it :)kay?
Cheerio
Raynnne
xxx

pain

it consumes us. thats what caused my last post. the pain of my bestfriends words.the pain of watching your friends friendship fall apart. the pain of what is going on all around me. the pain of my life falling apart. and now the thumping pain on the back of my hand.dont cause yourself pain.it just makes things worse.trust me. we have enough pain all around us. it just adds to it.
rayne

you tell someone the truth of whats happening and burst there perfect little world bubble and they say you are unsensitive. grow up and go away. ryan isnt and wasnt your best friend, you hadnt talked to him in months. im sick of this topic. you did shit all with andy. dont try and say you did. i cant believed you bloged all that shit. yeah hell good friend you are. forget it. its obvious i think meg is not the bad guy here. i dont think you are either. i just think your being a cow. yeah hmm. dont blog about me EVER again kay? never mention me on your blog please and ta. il make sure to return the favour dw. i hope my words hurt you as yours did to me. you dont deserve my tears, so why are you getting them?
Rayne

cupcakes and kisses :)

BIlBY

^he keeps my feet on the ground^

MOGALI

^^my insperation^^

LAUZ BEAR

^^i can be with her for days and not get sick of her at all. i love her^^

ADRIAN

^^my Jacob^^

TORIA

^^she scares the fuck outta my boyfriend, but she can be truly amazing at times^^



BELLA

honestly, i just like licking her face :)

KIM + MARIJKE

^^my saftey nets^^

JOSH

^^my Edward^^

^^they make me fat :)^^

:)

Raynnnnne

xxxx

tickling and sex and the city repeats

hey ppls! bella here:) im at raynies house and loz just arrived:P we really want her to tell us about her ex bf :P if he exists huh? i mean hes like this mystery guy who might not even exist...hmm better not rule out all the possibilites.

haha the guys SHOULD BE LEAVING SOON!!! haha soz but they reallyshould be going soon coz we wanna watch sad movies!!! and we are wearing heaps of mascara so that it'll look better and more dramatic.

oh here loz is gonna say hi to all you gorgeous ppl:
hello peoples ijust walkked in on the (ahem) pornographic sight of three hot 17 yr olds tickling my mates to near insanity:P ahhhhhh i always miss out :P

see loz is kool peoples and the little 'ahem' was an input from me about her choice of adjective hehe. they were only doing it so she woud shutup talking about footsex and licking people.hehe love yyou raynie... oh nd she wants to say somthing now :P

Raynee here :)WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!! dont be an idiot jake. bahahahhahahahah god i am going to put a restraining order on the three of you guys :P BAHA the beatles were playing heaps loud so no one could hear our screems hahah. lauz shut up i dont care about licking your mouth. that was like so 24 hours ago man. i think it is very unfair that kai who is twice my heigght and jake who is like 45769009876263745786790865645 times stronger than me and then seb who is just......to fucking tank, get to tackle me. : meanies.....

bahahaha trueeeee raynie. oh yeh btw its bells now :) hahahahahahahaaha aaaaaaaah ROFLCOPTER!!!!!! hahah oh um okaaaay ow do i explain waht just happened....? hmmm oky well lets just say that we saw ALOT of kai... (nothing that rayne hasnt seen before huh?) aaaaah yeh NICE CALVIN KLEINS KAI!!!!!!) bahahahahahahah. yeeeeeeeeeh. ah well surprsised he kept them on this time bahahaha - loooooooooooong story :P (somehow i just managed to find a pair of bonds at the bottom of raynes bed. okaaaayy explanation rayne??? oh raynie jst had a moment and told me not to ruin it for her... ummm basically all she said was 'omigod did u no we're teenagers' and i looked over at her with a surprised face and sed 'oh..really??' in a surprised voice. yep thats right just coz ur hairs brown atm dus not mean u can stop being a blondie :P LOVE YOU RAYNIE!!!. well we haaaave had foot sex.... wow wheredid that come from...? seb stopp itTT!T!! ggrrrrr that boy needs to learn when to stop :) welll.soometimes. hahaahhaha just coz ur a hottie doesnt mean u can use tickle torture on us!

Raynne... BAHA seb behaving ? any of these boys behaving ? in our dreams...

oh hey its lauz now :) KILL YOUR BOYFRIEND we can be together :)

raynnnne :) hello bahaha good song much ?
:P WE HAVE TO GO NOW!!! lovvve you alll
gooodbye for now from the house of loons
WTF bella just bit my thigh....
Rayne, Lauz, Bells, Jake, Kai and Seb :)
x

TVH season 4, episode 6

Wolf: serena

Tiger:Rayne :)

Science, 11-05-09

S:goat has yey again decided to wear the measil infected tie.thank god i have already hadthe chicken pox twice if it is the chicken pox not the measils.i hope whatever it is isnt contagious. goat just said something about number two's, wolf is concerned.

once again tiger has screwed up our science experiment.well done,wolf is so proud of you. our plants are now drowned and dead.

R:tiger reporting here from no more than 3 meters away from the measil infected tie. i am very concerned that this is getting serious. rumor has it that the tie does not have the measils but infact swine flue.****loud gasp****i must encourage viewers to stay home and not approch SMACS hell hole under no circumstances. may i just add i have infact been able to save the helpless plant and it is in fact alive. and i have no ruined that many experiments....this week....

plus i am sort stoned right now so i take no responsability for ruining this experiment. sorry for being such a aswesome/stoned/clumsy lap partner :Pover and out.

s:wolf reporting here. lap partner? very interesting...i seriously think its not a good thing when i imagine myself running screaming from the class room. Bushfire?thats gotta hurt, cameron payne much? i thinkk i may have a nap.apparently you use mnore of your brain sleeping than watching tv. in science i use none of my brain.over to tiger before i fall asleep or die of boredom.

R:tiger here, yet again. BAHA as much as i love you, i ment LAB partner not LAP partner...***gasp***unless you are like me now? wow serena a bi....no offence but eew.

our camPAYNE is to stop global warming :P **winks** cant believe i ever went for that guy...ewwwww.....or touched him EACKKKKKKKK.

i shall permenently delete those memories from my mind. i havent concentrated in ecology at all, and now we have a test....what is he rambling on about? global warming? soil? WHAT>???????

**BELL**

welcome to our lives :)

Raynnnnnne

history notes...

S:serena
R:Rayne(ME**gasp**)
K:kim
Sp:spencer

NOTE ONE,HISTORY CLASS 11-05-09

K:hey im bored and starting a third note.

R:another one to add the chance of getting caught?hellz yeah :P, could we please fold the notes so they are a little less obvious? and maybe pass them UNDER the desk instead of in the bloody air?:P its looking a little sus that im writting when she knows i dont have my booklet she handed out.....

Sp:take notes then idiot.. and good work kim you rebell. taking risks is what makes it fun :P

K: well was i meant to just sit and listen? i have oher methods of boring myself to death.

R:do any of these include:

• learning japanese?
• visiting the headmasters office and watching his chin wabble as he rants on at you?
• sitting in assembly?
• going to an all girls school?
• listening to goat ramble on about protons and nutrons?

Sp: just going home is the best option i think.

R:wth....are you following this conversation at all?

S:follow the convo?

K:i said 'boring myself to sleep' i would have to go with trying to stay attentive in science.

R:moving on.....wow i feel stonned

S:you are stonned

Sp:you are? ohh yeah it twas more obvious this morning though hahaha

R: MOVING ON! alright a drastic topic change is needed :) i vote we all say how far we have gone with people in the past 6 months. spencer first.

Sp:pash.

K:bullshit

S:fuck your dumb....

R:spencer, you dipshit, i gave you hand like 2 months ago....

Sp:baha oh yeah true, okay hand.

***recce brown walks past and reads end of note***

Recce: legggggend :)

***BELL***

Wolf: Serena

Tiger:Rayne(ME :O)

NOTE TWO, HISTORY 11-05-09

**INTRO: serena and myself write our notes to each other in a script mode, as if we are writting a script for a Tv show, our TV show is called 'tedious versions of hell' and we report from different versions of hell(AKA subjects) every day. more tedious versions of hell transcripts to come. though i have misplaced our best one somewhere in my blazer and this is the only one i could find, which so it happens is our worst :P**

R: Howdy:) welcome to TVH. before we start, Tiger has a question for Wolf- have you finished TVH season 4, episode 6's script?

S:i am sorry to report that wolf could not find anything to add, as the script was perfect and her words would only have spoilt it.you are le creative genious:)

R: BAHA this is quite a good example of a boring day in the life of a tedious versions of hell producer/actress/scriptwriter/creater.

S:most deffs

R:yeahp, stupid freaking skirt has fallen down again :(

S: tiger your skirt is hardly visible, have you misplaced it?

R:shut up

S:serious, you and bella.....wow i dont know how you get away with it.

R:cause the boys enjoy the sight

S:tim sure did when it blew up the other day

R:must remember to wear bigger undercrackers to school in future.....

S:BAHA UNDERCRACKERS?

R:fuck off....

S:zzzzz

R: i said fuck off, not sleep....you didnt even give a proper reply or come back, im dissapointed!

S: im just so bored with this class....

R:ditttoo, can you give me a lift home?

S:sure, god this is so boring

R:i know

S:maybe we should start a war to get our minds outta the gutter.

R:its last period of the day, i dont give a flying fuck where my brain decides to go.though a war does sound good. shotgun queen.

S:shotgun general and later princes of our new empire.

R:lol il make HArry and Dougie outta mcfly royal:P and make ACDC compulsary in school. as well as having nirvana as our national anthem.

S:nah, you could make tim royal for yourself and il have edward cullen. and funky town shall be our national anthem.

R: NO i am queen and now i think iv changed my mind. not bout the national anthem though, cause im keeping that. im going to make josh and tim royal. double the fun. though il have josh more though:)YUMYUMYUMYUM

S:ew. and actually i was thinking more about the time i convinced you that funky town was a real place and had funky town as their national anthem,

R:i hate you.

**BELL**

hope you enjoyed our pathetic attempts at amusment:)

cheerio

raynnnne

xxxx

fuckwitich

i depend of a few selected people to get me through the day. to help me cope with my mother etc. but when do you have to draw the line? im sitting here alone in my bedroom on a friday night due to being grounded cause i got caught with booze. normaly i text people at night. well technicly just one or two people at tops. but what happens when one of the people you are normaly texting wont reply for some unknown reason and the other is too busy doing kinky stuff with their boyfriend and your mother is yelling?what happens when your lifesupport is turned off and you are left to deal with the world on your own? well if you are like me you tend to blog about your frustrations.....moving on to what has been happening in my life lately.....sorry if its not all in order.well school is OTT with assignments and im like drowing in them.bella and i had a major blow up for some unknow reason but things are okaay now.two people i used to be best mates with have turned on me.im grounded till the 23rd when i go to see the school production with TTTSNB, bella, liam, adrian,coz, laura and such.my tummy is demented and the doctor said that maybe i am one of those people who should stay away from alcohol : just incase it has something to do with my liver. i was like WTF!!!started detesting my glasses.started being silly and falling for someone.decided that maybe it twasnt so silly a thing to do.became fed up of life in general.i had a long mature disscusion(yelled loudly whilst used lots of big words) with my ex, telling him that some parts of myy body were out of bounds and that if his hands ever touched that place again, i would cut his doodle off.and yeahh....CheerioRaynnnnneeexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

addage:D

okAY :D haha my sister is starting a blog....yeahh she is fallowing mine, so check hers out :) victoria copland,....ahuuhh :P
love you all
cheerio
Raynie
xxx

urgggg

im all spottyyy ;(. i hate beng spotty.annd my hair is all bad. im getting it dyed on tuesday..so it should be okay thenn,...but god! my face is like zit city...:( i am going to put on a face pack......oiii TTTSNB remember how i bumped my nose and was like OUCH?well now i have a spot there :(

cheerio
Rayne(:

what is the point of a title when it nearly never has anything to do with what the blog is about?

i have no reason to blog haha other than the fact that i have nothing else too do.

today i went to the braces doctor (you know who i am talking about...im just to retarted to know how to spell the orthadonnt...somthinganother...) and it was tediously boring.

and that is basicly it....

im getting my hair cut and coloured on tuesday. im going dark again hahaha. not my choice. my mother says that the blonde is starting to look tedioous...

well 'andy' had sex....ahuh...seems we are all breeding like rabbits nowadays huh...?

im reading briget jones's diary. hillarious stuff. any girl that needs a laugh and insperation needs to read that book. it is epic. as well as the movies hahaha now those are lolfull :P

my room is a mess, yet again. hmmmm uhuhh whats that you say ? monkkeyyy brains? ohh yeahs i know all about them...all squishyyy....

well i just read a blog about what somebody else tastes like (sam-ham...im pretty sure)
but it made me think....what would i taste like :

is it weird to like the taste of blood?.....probably.......

whyy am i even blogging...? this is a useless waste of time.
ohh i just thought of a topic.
guys.
they are so fucking confusing.(btw i dont know where this is comming from :S)
all they ever do is send fucked up signalls.
just be straight with us goddammmit!
urg hahaha
:)
cheerio
rayne :)
xx

woahhh ahaha stupid convos with aaron chapman bring this out in a girl...:P

hello there,

its 1 :23 in the morning and im kinda confused.

im not too sure about what exactly,all i know is that it is stopping me from sleeping. i have been readin through old posts by mainly bella, and readin the comments made on them. so far i have read that bilby thinks my life is a drama movie.
im not sure how to take that. does that mean he thinks im over dramatic ? or an actress ? or that i always want to be in the spotlight?

i also read bella saying that she has learned to depend on me too much. Bella hun. i will always be here. you CAN always depend on me no matter what. i love you so much. being away from you actually hurts me. when my life is hanging by an edge, and all i can think about is a hot bath and cold razor blades. you are the only thing that stops me from making those fantasies become real life. if anything i depend on you too much. i depend on you to keep me alive.

i make so many mistakes in life. i dont learn from them all but i try my best. i read bella saying that we arennt so inoccent any more. im not sure when i became who i am now. i remember being the little 11 year old tomboy who was only interested in soccer and playing outdoors.the only girl the boys would allow to play soccer with them at recess and lunch. the girl who would only wear sports strips and would watch action movie nonstop. the girl who watched the disney channel and never gave a damn about what anyone was thinking about her. or who was watching. the one that didnt care about popularity or how skinny she was.

its hard to look back on those times and then see who i have became. because when i reaslise who i now am. it makes me ashamed. i am shallow. 2 years ago if i had met the person i have became, i would have been disgusted. i dont regret some of the choices i have made. but some i look back on and think "this isnt you.". how do you know when too much is too much ? how do you know when you have finnaly crossed that line? when do you know when to stop, when you cant tell right from wrong? how can you choose an opinion when you dont even know what you believe in ?

i dont like being held back. especially because of my age. i knew this one guy. we were sooo close. we talked all the time and realy cared bout one and another. the only problem was, after awhile his mates gave him a hard time about my age. he cracked under the strain.and hasent talked to me since, if your going to comit to being somebodys friend, you should not care about what anyone else thinks. if you really care about this person, does age matter? god knows i am a hell of allot maturer than most people my age, for christ sake, im more mature than people 3 years older than me! i am maturer in body, mind and experience. most of the time i enjoy this fact. sometimes it has its drawbacks.
in two years time, looking back , will i be proud of the choices i make? how do you accept the person you are, when you dont know what you have become? i am the party girl, the one that drinks, hooks up with guys and has a pretty big rep to live up too.

i have finnally found someone to keep me sane.but how long will it last ? my grades are slipping, my family cant stand me, iv made stupid mistakes and done stupid things with stupid people. when will i have enough strength to stop myself? cause sometimes nowadays, i can feel myself at the edge of the cliff, toes curled along the rough and slippery edge, barely keeping a grip,about to fall, with no one to grab me and pull me back to saftey, or to catch me when i fall.

how can someone, who has soo many people in their life, feel so alone half the time? i love my friends, they make life pleasent. but sometimes i wonder if it is where i belong. there are some places i just suddenly feel safe in, and i feel as though i will be accepted, no act needed(bilbys party was one of these rare occurances).

i may seem unsteady,uncaring,hurtfull and obnoxious. but honestly deep down, im just a 14 year old girl trying to find a place in a world where she cant belong.

so maybe my life is a drama. but can someone please answer me this, am i the goodie, or the baddie? is my ending sad or happy? and most of all, when does this movie end?


haha woah that was a depressing blog : hahaha anyway, that has been cooped up iim nside me for long enough. it is time to move on haha :) i dont know whats happening.
but i get the feeling that things we be good again soon :)
sorry bout my massive moan, i realise that basicly everybody else's blogs are never so depressing...hahah that probably makes mine a drone to read hahaha :) soorrrry
from now on i shall only post happy blogs.
i am over trying to impress people. now it is me.Rayne.:)
WELCOME TO LOSERVILE :D
Rayne
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