i broke up with neil......we are just friends now and i think that is a good thing. i have kinda messed everything up in my life. bella is happy, and i know that should make me happy, but it just makes life that little bit harder than it already is. she is so lovey dovey with this bryce guy.she isnt realy the bella i knew. she blows me off,and doesnt listen.it hurts. i know she doesnt do it on purpose but it still hurts.

i went camping with my family and aarons, he came,and yeah, things werre strange, he was a bit of a tosser. i am sorta hoping that all of the playing around is behind us and we can move on. cause i am a bitty sick of it all.

i am sick of all guys right now.but i think im alright on my own. a little break, where i can be as free as i want. i dont want to have to worry about any guys anymore. so i am on a break from guys(:

i have so much to tell you guys. but it is all so new and fresh that i am scared if i write it down it will become official.

my mother is going back to scotland for a month to help my grandmother and grandfather. i love them both so much,and have a realy special relationship with my grandfather, but we fear he is dying, and it is causing so much pain for me. i dont know what to do.

nowadays i sit in school and hope that nobody see's through this mask i put on. i am not ready for things to become real. i am stuck between two girls, Rayne and Raynie. who am i ? its so hard.

im stugling with school.friends.love.and life. i dont know what to do.

Raynie