Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Boredom consumes me
Monday, June 29, 2009
Tears Dont Fall
GRRRRRR
stop all of this "i have to be nice to them even though i hate them " crap okay people? your just as bad as that said person if you dont stand up and say how you feel. I AM NOT SAYING TO GO AHEAD AND BE A TOTALL WANKER TO A PERSON YOU DONT LIKE. what i am saying is im sick of hearing all of these people be like "arg i fucking hate blahblahblah" and then going up and being all bestmates with them.
AND FOR ALL THOSE PEOPLE OUT THERE=
I DONT GIVE A FUCK IF PEOPLE THINK I HAVE CHANGED. I DONT WANT TO SEE PEOPLE DEBATING OVER THAT FACT ALL OVER OUR BLOGGING COMMUNITY OKAY? I AM WHO I AM. STOP TELLING ME IM DIFFERENT OR THAT IM NOT THERE ANYMORE. IM SICK OF BEING TOLD THAT IM DOING SOMETHING IM NOT OR BEING TOLD THAT I JUST FUCKING WALK AWAY FROM MY FRIENDS WHEN THEY NEED ME. I MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS. NOW CAN YOU ALL LEAVE ME ALONE? I DONT WANT TO BE PART OF THIS ANYMORE. AND I DONT CARE WHAT IT TAKES. IL DELETE THIS MY BLOGGER ACOUNT IF I HAVE TO.
IF YOU SAY SOMETHING AND YOU MEAN IT BUT FEEL MEAN AFTERWARDS OR REALISE HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET PISSED WHEN THEY READ YOU SAYING IT THEN FOR FUCK'S SAKE PLEASE STOP BLAMING IT ON
A)YOUR ANGER
B)YOUR UPSET
C)OTHER FREAKING PEOPLE
stop blaming me for stuff i havent done. during this whole thing i have been there for everyone. and i know for sure who exactly are the people who mean the most.i have been hurt so much through all this
did you know when i did that shit to my wrist it hurt less than the things people have accused me of?
im sick of all this. and im actually glad im not in Australia because of it.
its like fucking world war 3 back in Perth.
im sick of feeling abused.
im sick of feeling angry.
im sick of feeling hurt.
im sick of feeling like i have to put on a strong face for those around me.
dont you guys realise im weak? its destroying me. I'll keep on doing it though. cause thats what im needed for. you guys are my reason of existence.
When my friends cry, i cry for them.
when they are hurting i hurt too.
I cried the whole night after the ryan thing cause i was so worried about Meg.
When Lauz did that thing to her leg i started crying cause i was so worried and upset for her.
Do you see what i mean when i say im not strong?
i cant stand it anymore.
the strangest thing is,
I miss you all so much.
Rayne
Friday, June 26, 2009
malayyysia
I cant sleepL so I have decided to come on my laptop and write a blog on Microsoft word to copy onto blogger when I finally get my internet back.Now those of you who weren’t there last night to say goodbye or didn’t see me at school are probably thinking what the fuck is this chick on right? Haha so for you idiots who haven’t caught the drift by now, I AM ON A TRASPORTATION DEVICE CALLED A PLANE. Had to type that in capitals to remind myself of that. Have you ever noticed how revolting the toilets on a plane are? I have been on like 200 since I was born and everytime it ceases to amaze me how horrid they are. I just went to check my hair cause I was heaps bored and had listened to two clash albums 4 times already. Oh I forgot to tell you. I am on a plane for a reason funnily enough. Im on my way to Malaysia, and for those of you yet again left in the dark, I LIVED THERE FOR 3 AND A HALF YEARS. Yet again with the capitals…..so yep and we are staying In KL for a night and im getting my nails sorted again thank god XD and then going SHOE shopping ^_^ suck on that sparks :P and after this one night in KL we go on our 13HOUR(WTF!) flight straight to GLASGOW. Why do my home countrys have to be so far away? Tisn’t fair! Anyhow yes…we are staying in Scotland for nearly a month. God I miss Josh already and its only been like 12 hours since I last saw him….anyhow. Lets talk about last night J
I went and got my hair cut straight after school and cause we were going to the movies after I had to get ready at school now this normally wouldn’t be anything out of the ordinary but when you are going to the movies dressed as a skanky fairy sometimes you get weird looks from the people you are running past in whitfords cause your late for your hair appointment. Anyhow I arrived and this is the conversation I had with my favorite hairdresser mark J
Mark- what you got planned for tonight Rayne?
Rayne- Im going to the movies with people and such……dressed as fairies.
Mark-haha yes I noticed the outfit. When is the movie?
Rayne-5o’clock…….
Mark- RAYNE IT IS 3:50,HOW CAN I DO A COLOUR CUT AND DRY IN AN HOUR ?
Rayne- I don’t mind being late…sorry….
Mark- its okay. Il get you out of here soon as possible.
Rayne- taJ
And after that I had two people putting dye in my hair to do it faster. Then I had it washed out and 3 people blow dried it dry. Then they all straightened it. The mark cut it.
Now for you dumb people (yet again! I am getting sick of having to explain this for the people too slow to keep up! Can you imagine if I was saying this aloud? These people would be like “I CANT UNDERSTAND HER ! SHE IS SCOTTISH AND SPEAKING FAST ! well too bad people, my friends will tell you, you have to learn to keep up or your left a trillion years behind without half the information you need.)anyhow as I was saying :s what was I saying? Oh yes the three people thingy(no im not talking about a threesome you sick minded people out there) well normally it only takes one person to do each job. I was outta the hairdressers in under an hour and twenty minutes XD
So after my exciting trip to the hairdressers. TTSND and myself walked to the movies with Sparks and Wolf. Being 30 minutes late by this point… anyhow. And then the movies went like this.
TTTSNB, Sparks,Wolf and myself walk in.
I see that we are sitting in the middle.
I make lauz move down the front with us cause im short sighted and didn’t want to be sitting at the back
I text wolf and sparks to come down and sit with us.
TTTSNB and I move a few rows forward
Lauz and Dana become(BIGGER) perverts.
The movie finishes
We buy Mc Donalds
Then I have the ingenious idea of getting timezone pictures
We get the photos and bump into Jack Stracan, Jake rotham and some other faggots and each girl pukes in their pants at the sight.
I have to leave with wolf.
We get very emotional as we say goodbye and I very unusfully state that it is okay that I am only leaving for one twelfth of a year…..
Feel sad as we drive away.
Got home and pack laptop bag.
Now as you know im on the plane and im listening to bullet for my valentine scream outta my new crappy headphones.( they are faulty and I payed 20 bucks for them!)
And wishing that this flight wasn’t going to take so long. I tried drawing for a bit cause it calms me and makes me feel safe and nice. But it didn’t help. OH SHIT TERBULENCE. All is okay…hahah anyhow my sister very stupidly told me that the more people there are on a plane the least likely of it going down because people have this thing in them that warns them that something is going to go wrong and they cancel their ticket not knowing that it was themselves warning themselves of danger but thinking they have the cold etc. And I laughed and was like oh cool. NOT SO COOL NOW THE FLIGHT IS HALF EMPTY. And I normally love like turbulence and taking off and landing but now im scared that suddenly out plane is just going to explode or something. I love travelling. Like the airports and getting ready to go and doing my lipgloss in the airport toilets before buying cool stuff in duty free. But I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE(you get the picture) the actual flight. I remember the first time we flew first class. That was gooooood. But nup this flight we have to sit on uncomfy chairs that are making my bum hurt. Okay just over 2 hours to go……I will be okay…..thats only 120minutes to face the chance of suddenly blowing apart.
My sister stole the window seat and I was like “meh” until I realized that I wanted to sleep and she didn’t and she was the one with something to rest her head against. Unfair much?
Blahhh my mum was being a cow. I was like aww that’s so sweet my friends have texted me at like 4am telling me they love me and to have funJ and my mum goes “god they need to get a life”WTF MUM YOU CAN HARDLY TALK. HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE AGAIN? Bleh and she was like your breaking out all over your forehead. I was like “aren’t you charming”
Im listening to tears don’t fall (one of my top 10 favorite songs) and its reminding me of josh.miss him…and wolf…and sparks…and meg..and dana…and liam…and spence…and bilby…and james….and kai….and jake….and seb…and alotta more people….haha only one twelfth of a year right?...
Must be going. My laptop is running outta power,
“Tiptoe to ur room, A starlight in the gloom, I only dream of you, And you never knew, Sing for absolution, I will be singing”
Rayne
xoxo
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
i promised i wouldnt blog about this but i have to.
sometimes in life things pop up out of the blue.they suprise you, and your not sure how to react.How can you always be sure you did the right thing?you changed for the right reasons?or you choose the right path?Its the small things.The things like feeling this insane amount of warmth and rightness when you see that persons face when they arrive for coffee that windy and rainy day.The only way to describe how i feel when my friends are scared or in pain or hurt is that I'm terrified.I'm terrified every moment i'm not with them.I'm terrified every time they leave my sight.What if something happened to them?what if something happened to them when they got home from school and you never got to see their smile or hear their laughter ever again?Mr Tate talked to us today about the 'what ifs' about what happened to meg yesterday.i started to cry.It makes me hurt so much to think of what could have happened.Last night i was kept awake with thoughts of 'what if he had slipped?''what if it had been wolf and he had hurt her?' 'what if that had happened, and i hadn't been there to protect Meg or Wolf?'
People say i have changed.I used to be and i will honestly say this a self obsessed bitchy two faced girl who treated people like crap. Looking back i dont know why Wolf or Meg or Lauz or Kim or any of the others are still here for me. I don't deserve their friendship, but they waited. they waited till i realised what was happening.They waited for me to realise that i was the kind of person i detest.the one who would put guys before girls. and lie to their friends.I am and always will be sorry for how i was.
I stand up for what i believe in and don't just do what i think people expect of me anymore. I lost the person i used to be.And i think i have finally found her. I read that some people think i just disappeared the moment trouble started.But I'm sorry, i couldn't stand by you whilst you did that. Its fair enough saying friends should always stand by you.But when is it time to draw the line?I cant be the person you want me to be. I cant do that. you say that it was like i didn't care. Trust me i did. It was one of the hardest things i have ever had to do. But i couldn't carry on as i was. It was slowly but surely ripping me apart from inside out.
You cant blame this all on one person. It wasn't him who made me change. It was me. I stood by and watched my friends fight like beggars over food. but this was them fighting over something i don't understand. they were fighting over a guy. a jackass, knife threatening, prick of a guy. I watched as friendships were ruined and tears were shed. and i couldn't take it anymore. i tried to be there for everyone.but i cant. i cant watch my friends do that. i cant watch them go through pain like that. i cant stand by and watch as my friends start cutting themselves like its the latest trend. or carving fucking hearts onto their legs. No i cant. And i wont. So i withdrew. not just a little. Completely. It was like somebody pressed my self protect button. I walked around like a ghost. an empty hollow ghost.
I didn't stop caring. far from it. i cried each night. and did things that have left me with most likely life scars. Iv learnt a lesson. Life sure as fuck isnt fair. I carried on like this untill...i think it was the day Bella and heather had that argument with Robbie and spence. about the using thingy. Yet again my friend was getting hurt. Why do people feel the need to bring people down? if they are miserable, everybody else has to be too. Hence if for once lauz was in a happy and loving relationship and heather and bella were single, they had to ruin that relationship.I hate it. Cant friends just be happy? that was the day i realised. these aren't my real friends. the ones that smile when i talk about josh and see how happy i am, they are my real friends. the ones that don't judge me over something i did and understand why i did it, they are my real friends.
I didn't just walk away. I didn't just say "hey I'm happy and your not and i don't want to be around someone who is unhappy" i COULDN'T stand by you anymore. I couldn't stand by you whilst you put a guy before a best friend. i couldn't stand by you whist you made those little comments that hurt like hell. i couldn't stand by you as you ripped me apart. i wasn't happy. But josh eases the pain.he makes me feel special. he listens. I don't care about what you think of him. i honestly don't. It doesn't matter to me whether you trust him or not. what matters is what i think, if i trust him, and if i love him. and i do. so for once, please just let this be about someone else. the world doesn't revolve around you.
i dont want to fight. i dont want to be best friends. i just want to be me. and i want to be happy. And i cant take this anymore.so i wont.
I'm not perfect, and i never will be. I will never claim to be the worlds best friend. But i will never go back to that person i became.
Rayne
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Japanese and why i speak.....Beccalandish....
ogenki desu ka? haha im sitting in japanese laughing at our flake of a teacher Mr Brown. Thank god we dont have Dinosaur haha i dont think i could have handled her fashion sense today :P we were supposed to hand in our signed japanses test, but i didnt get it signed......since that was the reason we were being punished for being dumb last week....and so as you may have guessed...i forged my dads signature.....HEY Lauz did it too alrigh!!! i will not be punished unless she is aswell!:P sooo yerr....is it pathetic to be excited about going home so i can watch Bleach?yer...probs ayy.....holly crap that is funny...**pokes Wolf for attention and points to the board**wolf gives strange facial expression back**Wolf reads Board and has a uncontrolable laughing fit*
The board reads-
Tuesday,6th June, Year 9, Period 5
1) comprehension
2)write up questions about oral
3)practice oral with other students, change partners after 10 minutes and clean up after yourself
ahhh thats private schooling for ya :)
Cheerio
Raynnnnie
x
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Japanese and the reasons I speak English
Tediosa version del inferno
Sunday, June 14, 2009
the ones that......
voici deux photos récentes des personnes les plus importantes dans ma vie .

the peace maker
Laura- A.k.a- Lauz bear, lauz, lauraaaa smith :)
she is the stunning blonde at the front beside yours truly :) she is the pea to my pod. the john to my lennon. the lemmon to my....tree? i love her with my heart and soul.
the one that always falls over.
Kimberly- A.k.a- kimbo, kimmmi,kimmi bear:)
The awesome chick checking herself out in the mirror on the opposite side of me:Pshe is the girl you can rely on not to be able to copy from during english or history :) her hand writing is so neat you cant read it :) she cant do anything without falling over,including sitting.i love her with all the lip gloss in my blazer pocket.
the one with the long arms
Marjike- A.k.a marika.....
The cool person holding the phone, she has the longest arms.......she always comes out with the weirest things at the strangest of times. If you need an akward movie line then she is your girl. I love her as much as i love toasties :)
the one i couldn't live without
Serena-A.k.a the co-writter of this blog, Wolf, Seri.
she has been my best friend since year 6. she has stood by me during the good and the bad and never given up. I cant imagine my life without her. Sometimes just seeing her face as i walk out of class makes me think things will be okay. When i need a shoulder to cry on, hers is the one that ends up drowned in tears. she has on countless occasions made me wet my pants laughing. Christmass wrapping on her living room floor. Sleepovers in the tent out in her back yard. I will never forget a moment.This girl is my life. I need her for survival just like i need air. i love her as much as i love.....her hair ^_^
they are my girls.
not all are there. but these are the ones i will never forget.

the girls you know you couldnt live without.
the girls that you would do anything for.
The girl that you would do anything they ask in a heartbeat.
the girls you laugh with, not at.
the girls you know are going to last.
the girls you weep for when they are sad.
and call in the mornings to just say hello.
the girls you go see after a shitty date.
the girls you know you can always depend on no matter what.
four girls.
Serena, Marjike,Kimberly, Rebecca.
Shorties
xxx
Saturday, June 13, 2009
TVH episode.......
W-urg, and you know whats sad? i was just happy cause a spike the echidna was on the wall. im happy because of paper echidna scribbles on a wall.....
R-LOL, in this sad place anything that is remotely funny or brings happieness can brighten up your day. example- im so pathetic i just got excited over my pencil being sharp....
W- okay this is sad..... lites frown at her
** both narrow eyes and glare at dinosaur**
STOP
**and again**
STOP
**and again**
R- BAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA
Jordan- you never gave me my japanese homework back after copying it last week,.....
R- yer i did...*remembers throwing it in bin*
J-nope
R- ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF STEALING YOUR JAPANESE HOMEWORK, COPYING IT AND THROWING IT IN THE BIN !?!?!?!??! :O
J- : you put it in the bin?
R- shut up....
W- you also said " are you accusing me of taking your sheet boy?!?!?!?!?" ohh and rayne, would you like to borrow my honnnnn???
R- Japanese is pornographic. And you dont help make it less dirty...HAI DOZO
W- hypocrite
R- this is so boring..... heres a joke "whats the square root of Dinosaur?"
W- *grunt*
R- No, goat :)
W- genius....anyhow....that cd so wasnt porographic ayyy
R- LOL the alien was moaning and asking for a pencil.....
W- what would an alien with magic powers want with a pencil? and why would it come to our pesky little plannet?
R- cause you cant get poptarts where he is from duhhh. maybe he is on the run from the alien police :O aww he is cute. lets call him kashite :)
W-why did she just tell us off....?
R- cause we are to sexy for these skirts.....and also not from prehistoric times...
W- yehh,,,,,,thats it........you worry me.....
***bell*******
just your typical friday first period chit chat :)
xxx
=)
Do you ever feel as though everything is perfect?Like for once in your life things are looking up and the small things dont matter so much anymore? that is how i feel :) Its been a long time since iv been so happy. So long infact that i cant even remember a time i was this happy. I dont care about my imperfections anymore. I have someone who loves me for me. I dont feel like i have to pretend to be something im not. I can just be me and he accepts me. It's amazing how one person can turn your life around.
I has had the bestest day :) I went to whitfords with tttsnb and bought a new nightdress (which i was asked repetively to put on and told that i was killing someone by not doing it....) then we went back to his house and watched nightmare on elm street 6. Then played around for awhile. After getting a bit frustrated by the presence of a parent in the house, the parent we were considering bribing into leaving the property actually left :S no joke i was like "bahhh just pay him" and we heard the car start then drive away....anyhow so yes we carried on our buissness thankfull of the 'no longer here' presence of the parent being awayyyyyy. And then about 10 minutes in.....the presence returned >:- twas not happy bout that fact but movvvving on....tttsnb went to greet his father, may i add LEAVING THE BEDROOM DOOR OPEN BEHIND HIM whilst I attempted to sort myself out. When he that leaves bedroom doors open returned i gave up trying to sort myself out without the helping hand of a mirror and decided to go to the bathroom to use its aid...bumping in to he who leaves bedroom doors opens father on the way....
**Rayne walks out bedroom and walks into the now returned presence on her way**
**looks up**
"oh hi, sorry"
**the now returned presence looks at very embarrassed son's girlfriend and does a double take when he realises how flushed the girl loooks**
"...erm that's okay...."
**the very embarrassed girlfriend runs to bathroom to seee hair in a very messy state and cheeks on fire**
"dammit....."
**goes back to bedroom with hair brushed and cheeks cooling down to find a even more flushed
looking boyfriend standing in front of his telly**
"guessing your dad knows we had sex?"
**flushed boyfriend looks confused**
"sure hope not...."
and then we watched another movie this time in the living room with the presence and ate pretzels and drank some of the 24 bottles of pub squash and LA ice we had carried all the way from whitfords....okay maybe i had made tttsnb carry themm....shut up:)
hahaha
anyway just thought id share my embarrassing encounter with my boyfriends dad with you all :)....and i hope you all learn a lesson from this story.....haha get your boyfriend to put a mirror in his room :P
cheerrrrio
Raynnne
xx
p.s welcome to blogger Lauz :)
xx
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
schooool
gtg bellllll
Wolf and Rayne.....
xxx
Monday, June 8, 2009
meeeee + 100
2. Last phone call - 20 minutes ago with joshh
3. Last text message - Heather
4. Last song you listened to – leave out all the rest- Linkin park
5. Last time you cried - sometime last week...
SIX HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice - yer
7. Been cheated on - yerr :(
8. Kissed someone & regretted it - not realy
9. Lost someone special – god yeah
10. Been depressed – sorta i guess
11. Been drunk and threw up – baha fuck yeah
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:
(2009)15. Made new friends - yerr
16. Fallen out of love - yepp
17. Laughed until you cried - bahaha kaiii
18. Met someone who changed you – :)yup
19. Found out who your true friends were – yerr
20. Found out someone was talking about you – baha since when havent they?
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list - hahaha quite a few
22. How many people on your top friends list do you know in real life - i dont have one atm
23. How many kids do you want to have - some
24. Do you have any pets - JackkksoonnnnnXD
25. Do you want to change your name – nahhh
26. What did you do for your last birthday –Parttty:)
27. What time did you wake up today - errr like 6ish?
28. What were you doing at midnight last night -Thinking
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for –Saturday:)
30. Last time you saw your Mother – like 30ish minutes ago?
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life - errr
32. What are you listening to right now –my hell loud clock ticking...and this mix CD Seb gave me..
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom - bahaha yerrr
34. What's getting on your nerves right now? - that clockkk....
35. Most visited webpages - myspace and facebook i guess
36. Whats your real name -Rebecca-Elliday Copland
37. Nicknames –Bec,Bex-kitten,Rayne,Bec-hor.....
38. Relationship Status - in a relationship funnily enough :)
39. Zodiac sign - Aquarious...
40. Male or female or transgendered - ask Josh that one :)
41. Primary school -Hillllarys Primary:)
42. High School - SMACS yerrr:)
43. University -hopefully
44. Hair colour – changes too often haahaha
45. Long or short - lonnnng
46: Height - Spencer is now sadly basicly taller than me....
47. Do you have a crush on someone? - heheh
48: What do you like about yourself? - :s.....
49. Piercings – nup
50. Tattoos - narrr
51. Righty or lefty - rightyy :D
FIRSTS:
52. First surgery – on my hip....
53. First piercing -ears
54. First best friends -Lauz,Josh,Bilby,Ionaaa,Heathher,Spencer,Kai,Jake,Seb and stuff...
. First vacation – Spaiiin:D
RIGHT NOW
59. Eating - nooodles
60. Drinking - canberry juice
61. I'm about to - run round China naked
62. Listening to – My clock....and some random song Seb likes....he made us listen to it like 458906546859 times in the car...member that bella?:Phahaa funnny..
63. Waiting on - SaturdayYOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids? - yeap
65. Get married? - yuppp
66. Careers in mind? - Journalism :)
WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes -eyes
68. Hugs or kisses – Bitta both pllllease :)
69. Shorter or taller- Taler71. Romantic or spontaneous - Spontaneous
72. Nice stomach or nice arms - Joshhhhs arms...nuff said....XD
73. Sensitive or loud - ever noticed how i like it LOUD?:)
74. Hook-up or relationship - relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant - hehe you guess
HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger - yuppp
77. Drank hard liquor - yuppity
78. Lost glasses/contacts- bahaha yerrr i cant see properly atm cause i lost mine
79. Sex on first date - :S
80. Broken someone's heart – so it has been said
81. Had your own heart broken - yerrr
82. Been in a fight – hahahhaha yepp
83. Turned someone down - yup
84. Cried when someone died - yup:(
85. Liked a friend that is a girl? - hehe yup...
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself - sometimes
87. Miracles -YOU SEXY THING
88. Love at first sight – hmmm im pretty sure i do:)
89. Hell- my home town? deffs yeah :)
90. Santa Claus – Yer mannn sexy beast
91. Kiss on the first date - mmmph depends
92. Angels – yup:)
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
93. Is there one person you want to be with right now? - yeahs
94. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? - nuppp..well....
95. Did you sing today? –hahahah
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go? Agesssss
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it? yeahh
99. Are you afraid of falling in love? – already have, so being scared wont do me much good :)100. Posting this as 100 truths? - hahaha probs not :)
hey guyyys do this and post it :)kay?
Cheerio
Raynnne
xxx