death. you can't escape it. its impossible. you see it coming, you know its coming for a fact. but when it happens..well it still feels like a bullet to your heart. you feel like you can't breath. how could this person not be here still? since when has that suprior bastard whoever the hell he is, that lives up there, think he has the right to take some one from us? who the hell gave him or her the option to take a persons life? its fucking unfair that i have to sit through lesson after lesson of christian studdies listening to how the fucking world is controled by some guy who made us and somehow has the right to take us away at any moment. i remember when i was younger my priest told me a story when my goldfish died. it was about how god really just wanted to meet my goldfish himself, and cause he was in heaven they would finally meet. well you know what god? FUCK OFF AWAY FROM ALL OF MY FRIENDS.if my preist was right, then why couldnt god just wait? wait, just for us to complete our life cylce. its not right for someone to try so fucking hard to stay strong and alive when your ultimate goal is to stop them from reaching their 18th birthday. might suprise you to know i used to be a really strong christian. i didnt understand when my sister told me when she was ten that she didnt believe in god. i think the first time i ever questioned christianity was when i was ten myself, and my tortoise died. we had took him to the vets. we were supposed to give him injections every 4 hours for the rest of the day. and after his second injection, when he was finally acting a bit better,he died in my hands.has anyone here ever felt anything die before.? i could actually feel this tinny creatures life force leave him. he curled away in his shell. and that was the first time i actually experienced death. since then it seems to have taken a liking to me. since it keeps on coming my way. its unfair. unjust. unbelievable. and i dont know how to cope with it any more. do you just carry on? like i have? if thats the right thing to do, then why do i feel guilty that im going to make it to my 21st birthday and they arent? people shouldnt make promises they cant keep. i just pray to whoever the hell he or she is up there, that they never take any of you guys away.
Rayne
xo
7 comments:
At least they were there to begin with...
You shouldn't feel guilty about something you can't control. It's not your fault...
Well yes, you do carry on. Because that's what they would've wanted you to do. Your friend, your tortoise (that tortoise had plans for you, it had expectations of you growing into a lovely woman. Do not disappoint the tortoise) all wished you to carry on :)
We'll carry on, we'll carry on
and though you're dead and gone, believe me
Your memory will carry on, we'll carry on... *guitar*
but EVERYTHING is there to beguin with. why does it have to go though?
god needs new friends, stop taking orus DAMMIT
I love you (this is from Wolf)
the fact is pure and simple: if god does exist, he is a cunt. the few times i have believed in god, it is to curse him. what father would sit up on heaven and watch his children suffer??? thats not love, its cruelty. i love you though. that matters, doesnt it??? i stopped believing in god, because people are all that matter to me. i love you so much. im sorry i cant make it stop hurting. i wish i could.
oh and bilby, sometimes you really dont help matters at all.
"Life is avoidable but death is inevitable"
This is exactly the reason that I'm an atheist.
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