i fall for the wrong guys. the ones that just want in my pants and have no respect for me.they dont actualy care, but i manage to persuade myself that they do. i protray myself as a sluty person and so that is how guys treat me.it basicly sucks and meens that i am tearing myself apart most weeks due to one of the numerous OLDER guys that i like. they hide me. and dont give a damn about how i feel.its stupid. i fell inlove with aaron when i was.....11 years old. and from then on he was been a object to entertain my imagination.finnaly quite a few years on, he showed interest in me, but it was only sexual and the first time we fooled around he was still with his girlfriend for gods sake...and then came nathan, aarons best mate....he was all over me like a rash when i first met him.and then as soon as he saw me at a party infront of his mates,he completely ignored me,then when he saw me with andy at the shops, he was desperate to know who andy was and if i was dating him. thennn finaly he asked me out BUT He thought we shouldnt tell people. and when i went to the city with himm,he got a text from a group of his mates asking him to meet them for awhile,and instead of taking me with him he said to me "can i meet you here in ten minutes ?"and i was like...."okay.."and became very angry,though i couldnt yell at him when he got back cause guess what ? he brought two of his guy mates (who were fuuuucking hot)to spend the rest of the day with us.
and between them both came camp.you all know thhe story. he broke my heart, and i think i still love him even though the guy couldnt give a damn if i lived or died.
im so stupid.
i compare myself to everyone.and i cant accept myself for who i am.
im sick and tiered.
and my life is a pile of dirt
love you all
rayyyniiie
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
:)
2 comments:
Well I asked you if you actually had any reason at all to date Nathan like say... mutual feelings I don't remember you telling me that. Also remember telling you that he shouldn't hide you away. That's just not right. Remember for the future: There needs to be a reason behind a relationship...
Also... wear mumu's... that'll solve guys only looking at your body...
Darl,
Don't let guys make you feel like that. No one deserves to feel that way. Ever.
I bet that you are stunning, and although I have never met you, you sound lovely, and you can do so much better than guys like this.. I promise. <3
Cant wait to talk to you on msn! Woo. Oh ps. Would you be able to delete the comment? Just so no other ferals add me :) Thanks. x
ps. I missed you.
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