new yearrrrr

haha well the story of new year :)
went round to lee's , met his parents friends who are from south, i know what the place is called but dont know how to spell it even though it is a pretty obvious place :P. well her name was ash and we hit it off. she drinks exc same as me. and she has....done it.... if you get my drift..and she is only like 4 months older than me and she did it last year... YAY FINALY SOMEONE SLUTTIER THAT ME !!!!yay..lets party :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D. ahh well, aaron(who has got a gf !!!:(!!! )and his family came, and me n ash helped colleen to get ready. jason mentioned that i used to like aaron to lee. i wanted to kill him. ohhh and jason is aarons little brother. i was drunk when i told him...........anyway yes when it came to 12 i had a glass of champaign and then another... and then a few WATERMELLON BACARDI BREEZERS(i lurve them :P) and got a tad drunk :) danced so much my body now hates me :D and had a awesome time.
ROCK ON GUYS :D HOPE YOU HAVE A REALY AWESOME OH-NINE:D
cheerio
raynie

merry chrismas

merry christmas baby ! :) just thought i would drop a note to say how freaking awesome this year has been . but i cant wait till oh-nine :) i love you alll
raynie :):D:)D:):):D:)D:):):D:)D:):):D:)D:):):D:)D:):):D:)D:):):D:)D:):):D:)D:):):D:)D:):):D:)D:)

alllsoooo

you also seem to have alot of problems with me right now. do me a favor and tell me what i am doing bad ??
loving you
rayne

okayyy lets sort this out

it seems that a certain important somebody in my life has basicly just told me that my last post was b.s. let me assure you. it was not. my dear friend you are loud and ott and sometimes crazier than me, but you are suggesting that all of a sudden you are a hermit and then say that i have no right to say i have a quiet side. is that a right ? i think not. sometimes people have different personalities and when i am around you the crazy side of me shows but my serious side is never too far away. just because people are loud and they talk about drinking and boys doesnt meen that they are not quiet. i love to be alone and just read or listen to music or even just sit alone in my living room staring at our christmas tree lights(YES WE FINALY BOUGHT A NEW CHRISTMAS TREE, 5 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS).maybe you just havent seen the quiet side. you are my bestie as you know but you dont know everything i think. and please maybe next time could you tell me these things to my rather plain face. we never see each other anymore. i realy miss you . but being a hermit is sorta pissing me off now. get over it okay ? it makes my lifeee boring !!! and most of all. i feel as though something is missing in my life right now. and thinking about that last night made me realise what it is. you.
please call me, text me,email me or send me a smoke signal :)
i just want you to be happy.
you meen everything :)
cheerio
raynie
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meee.

i read books or watch movies that make me want to change the person i am. for example, when i read twilight and its sequels the first time round, i desperately wanted to be Bella. but the second time round i was inspired to be Alice. is it because i idolise these people that makes me want to be change ? or is it because i regret some of the things that i have said/done in the past year?

we all create our own reputation. i regret the one i have made for myself. i do don't want to be the person people think of when they hear the word " wild" or "bitchy". i just want to be myself and be accepted as myself. i don't want to have to be the person people want me to be or the person that is desperate for attention especially as it means dressing slutty and being loud.that is not me.

people don't realise that the person behind the OTT,loud and crazy mask,is just a quiet girl who's to do list involves reading,shopping,becoming a vampire and being accepted by the people around me. now i have had a chance to think about it, i think a balance between Alice and Bella will do. it would be perfect.

but even though i inspire to be these people,i know that no matter what i portray myself as on the outside as, i will always just be me. to be honest i don't know much about the real me except that i am a rather nerdy and clumsy person. lets hope i find out more about the girl inside in the coming year.

any way,on a lighter note, who wants to be a vampire ???

Raynie :D
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okay then :) bilby has requested that i write longer blogs from now on,so here is my first attempt which will no doubt be pittyfull. i am lee's house :) yet again huh ?? yupp lots of fun......... :$ he is umm how do you put it ????nicer than usual :) collen(his sister),elaine(his mum) and i are going to see twilight yet again :D happy times :P

i would like to just tell bilby something give me a sec.......HAVE YOU EVER CONCIDERED THAT LORNA MIGHT HAVE JUST NOT WANTED TO MENTION HOW HOT THE GUYS IN TWILIGHT ARE SO YOU WONT GET JELOUS ???:D HEHE. well i have to ,leave very soon. so yes this has been horribly short :) sorry to dissapoint hehe :) im off to perve on extreemly georgy people on a movie screen :P ohh and camp got a girlfriend....shocker huh ???:)
cheerio
raynie

yupp baby,,,,i finished midnight sun :P it is bloody awesome :) something is wrong with bella, im pretty sure of it. i hope she is okay. i love they girl soooo much :)
cheerio
bec :)

midnight sun

hello :)
okay soo time to catch up huh :)??? well, basicly since the holidays have started i have just hung out with bella, WATCHED TWILIGHT (i'l get to that later :p )!! and sunbathed. Bilby came over yesterday??? noope i think it was on saturaday:) and i harassed him alot,who knew how tickilish one guy could be :P well i am reading 'midnight sun' on the computer atm and it is goooooooooooooooood. i am also talking on msn. well i had to sleep over at lee's house on saturday night cause our parents went to the casino and we were left to watch movies. :). i missed surfclu and had a massive fight with my mother about it. i am borrowing 'the host' from lee's mum at the moment and it seems pretty good :).i cant wait till christmas :) right now as i have mentioned i am reading 'midnight sun' on my dad's laptop and i cant even stop long enough to give you guys a proper blog entry :P. but just quickly: HOW HOT ARE THE GUYS IN THE TWILIGHT MOVIE !! my god i could have ate them all up :P WOW AND THE MOVIE WAS SOOOO.................SOOOOOOOOOOOO.............AWESOME :p dont you guys agreee ??? i saw it on thursday with bella and im gonna see it again with lee's mum. by the way have i mentioned how freaking hot lee has got in the past year ?? i didnt notice until now how much older and taller and ...sexier he is :P (sorry bilby i bet you didnt want to know that :P)
anyway back to midnight sun :P im gonna try finish the whole thingy thats on it tonight :)

urg im on like page 200 and my dad wants his effing computer back. i guess you can sense that i am pissed ??? he wants me to go to sleep !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
like hell i am
cheerio
rayne

life in the summer :)

herrrrro,
well shall i start of by stating how great this summer is gonna be ???? THIS SUMMER IS GOING TO BE AWESOME !!!!!!!!!!!partying,sunbathing,swimming,flirting,DRINKING :p, shopping,blogging and just chilling with mates man :) i lurve you all :) well i might be getting a laptop for christmas :) so i can blog anytime i want :)the beach is my home in the summer, so if you need me, you will find me chilling,surfing or patroling at mullaz:) bella i love you. you are the coolest :P bilby you are a funny guy :) and your girlfriend is pretty cool too :)



i have to leave :) you alll rock :)
raynie
:):)
p.s sorry my last post was a tad depressing :) everything is great now :)

pieces of tape

you dont realise just how much people meen to you until you lose them.it hurts and these tears shed from my eyes at that fact.i loved him. more than you could imagine. he was like a brother. now he hates me. it makes life harder. im so used to his love that it pains me greatly to think of living without it. i never cry over boys. he does this to me without realising it. my heart is torn open and raw. life will go on and it will heal, but that does not stop the hurting right now. these warm tears run down my face. tomorrow is a new day. do you ever wish you were just dreaming.. this year has had its ups and downs but right now i wish i was still a little girl who could run into my mothers arms and sob. but instead i am sitting alone in my bedroom, lying on my bed,in the dark. anyything i say will see stupid. i dont want to grow up. i want to be the girl running around the garden in the snow back home. the only thing worrying me is if my snowman wil melt. i had everything.now i have a piece of tape on my hand.
if you dont understand this blog. i am sorry. ask me at anothertime. all i have to say is that he broke my heart and i helped him in the process.
mum wants me off.she has no idea :)
cheerio
raynie
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dead

i feel dead inside. i feel empty. why do i feel this way ???

the fiasco

hiya,
so as you know all about camp . i decided not to go. he was really good about it. i told him that we would hang out sometime in the holidays,just not at construction sites. i still really like him, even though i probably shouldnt because it Will end in heart brake no doubt. but he is sooo nice,he looks reallllllyyy goood,i know his brother,he makes me laugh and blush.but its the bad guys i always fall for huh ?? life is kinda boring right now, i am sooo sick of feeling cheap. i used to find it fun to hook up with guys with no strings attached. now it makes me feel soooo cheap. i want somebody to want me and to care about me. lives so unfair. anybody want to trade lives ????Bella,my rents and i are going camping tomorrow(urg) I'm exhausted. need a break. and a kit-Kat hehe :) il try to write on Sunday :)
cheerio
lurve you all
raynie

HELP !!!!!!!!!!

hiya,
im in RE right now. im tiered, okay major stuff...but cant be bothered typing so here is a extract from bellas blog explaining it all

"so...yeh. oh and camp has invited rayne to go to a construction site with him tomorrow after school! she said the movies and he said he doesnt want to be known for 'doing stuff' withyounger people. i think its just because he expects rayne to act like a complete slut! well no way jose! keep in mind that he is a) 2 yrs older than her b) my ex's big brotherc) kinda inexperienced (hehe more than kinda really..)d) expecting that she will go ALONE to a construction site with him and 'do stuff' with him. he texted her INSTRUCTIONS on how to get there! so todat after school me and raynie are a) going to buy stuff for campingb) check out the construction site"


it sounds a tad dogey huh ??? well i rlly like him but i dont want him thinking im a slut. i will accept anybodys advice btw !!! please help im DYING..... :(:( i want to have fun with him, but i want to feel safe whilst it is happening. not at some construction site... dont you guys agree ??? i would rather just do stuff at a park for gods sake..... PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE........................
HELP
lurve you all loads
raynie
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life in general......sucks :P and rocks at the same time.....

herro,
sooo much has happened. and Brooke trust me....life is better when it is uneventful ,....and yes 17 cm :P:P
:)okay so right now i am listening to my sisters mp3 . it is very hot in my room, so my pants are rolled up to my knees and i am lying on my bed. this is probably going to be a long blog so i would tune out right now if you want to keep you sanity.

:) okay well Sunday was uneventful in the morning. i had surf club. trained and then came home to get ready for Andy, Bella and Luke to come and watch movies at mine. soo they came as you know. well we watched "the hills have eyes" and it was scary. Luke kept on holding Bella's hand even thought i was holding hers as well..... but you will find out more about what is happening between them in a while. anyway i sat on the complete other side of the coach than Andy so that we werent squished together. you gotta take precautions hehe.

The movie was creepy, 2 girls got raped,4 died, and there were allot of creepy mutants in it. i am now terrified of the dark more than i was before. after the movie we went for a walk. and during this walk Luke decided to skate on the road. he then fell down i got knocked out,......and i coped well...NOT. !!! i just stood there ~! I'm supposed to be a freaking lifesaver and i cant even move when one of my good mates is lying in the middle of the road. anyway this car pulls up and a guy walks out saying "don't worry I'm a first aider. so it was all okay from there. even though i am a first aider too....i am so immensely embarrassed and ashamed and scared by that fact. i am doubting everything.......anyway Luke's male pride was hurt so he was a moody arse for the rest of the day (for more details see Bella's blog). when they left i was extremely tiered. i talked to camp. i think i may be falling for the guy..

:) bad idea since his brother dated Bella. we have fun together :)
(I'm listening to "sweet Carolina -Ryan Adams) i think it might be something special...but maybe its just puppy love, who knows :). school is good. on Tuesday i had music, and laughed allot with reed. shes in my art class too. she is about the same experienced as me, so we can talk to each other about stuff and know we wont be judged. but I'm still wary. but who isn't nowadays ?? i would love to be alone near a lake right now, with my legs resting on the water, off a pier. the little perfect place inside my head. i think i may go there soon :)
(chasing cars-snow patrol) I'm feeling shallow. Luke asked Bella out :) and so did charlie ...i

prefer charlie for her :) he cares more. and isn't soo mucked up. I want camp. we are going camping bahahaha funny how that reminds me :P (urg...joy) but Bella is probably coming (yay :P) now I'm dancing bahaha to Paris Hilton (yuck :P) i get my braces on the 12th :( twilight comes out on the 11th :)

soo i hope i have brought you basically up to date,sorry to bore you to death :P
cheerio
raynie
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life is..CRAP

wow my msn conversations are getting intresting these days. but this time not in a good way. i had a massive fight with andy last night, it went along the lines of this:
andy says:
hey
i say:
hiya
andy says:
ur probz going to be angry at me after i tell u this
andy says:
i read ur bolg and it said u were sick of me
i say:
you read my blog.
andy says:
y asoz
I say:
no if u were sorry you wouldnt have done it.
I say:
i cant believe you did this.
andy says:
i stuffed it up again
I say:
yea you definetly did.
I say:
things were going so well and now you have gone and done this.
I say:
this is crap.
andy says:
i no
I sa y:
this is to much
I say:
the blog was right.
I say:
i need a break from you/
I say:
and think about whether we can work through this.
I say:
you have realy pushed the boundries
I say:
and im sick of it.
I say:
what do you have to say ?
andy says:
i have to say we could but its maby cause i like u to much
I say:
yea well.
I say:
you have to be cruel to be kind and iv let it come to far. your realy pissing me off. get over me or just pretend you dont like me around me. but stop mentioning it. your a mate. i only want you as a mate. iv been nice about this all along. but there it is. im sick of being nice and patient.i would say im sorry but im too pissed off with you right now to actual meen it.
19:50:32 - Andy appears to be offline and will receive your messages after signing in
19:51:28I say:
urg fine.
I say:
block me

okay so i guess you are all thinking i am a total bitch exc. but i was reaallllyyy mad.
talk more later
raynie
xxx